The Power of Justification

You told me to call you
a dirty cunt
and I hesitated
simply because
I wasn't sure
I wanted to be
with somebody
who didn't
want respect from me.

Even back then
though I barely knew you
I could tell
you were complex
and incredible,
unique,
dark,
and beautiful,
I found you special
far beyond what I expected.

But I didn't want
to scare you away
and I wanted to please you,
tease you,
and ease you
into my life
as much as I could
so I used my super power
of justification.

What does the phrase,
"dirty cunt"
really mean
anyway?
What is a rose
by any other name?
Still just
a beautiful
rose.

So I said those words
giving you what you asked
but their meaning
was more
from my hesitant mouth,
you were:
my secret desire,
my unspoken lover,
the elusive emotion
I was learning to remember.

And I hope this confession
doesn't betray
that I wasn't really saying
what I said I would say
because what we are now
is a lot different these days
but you still are
my "dirty cunt".