Decorated iron (NOT to be read by anyone who knows who Deathnotewhovian is, please)

('Friends' if you're reading this then you have not respected my wishes)
 
I am the biggest liar I know.
The most shocking hypocrite.
My own worst critic -
Enough to hide the show.
 
My new found favourite pass time,
Gazing at the story.
My tools hidden at the moment,
Awaiting their moment of glory.
 
I'm so fucking ashamed
Confusion added to the mix
Research states many don't know their motivations for the act.
I need to know mine.
 
Emotions, lack of control even an escence of self hatred -
All factors of my act.
 
I have found a new pass time.
A coping strategy of you will.
They look so preety under my sleeve - it's where they'll stay until I feel the need again.
 
Is so incredibly addictive
The sounds and the smells -
They set my teeth on edge.
 
Decorated iron skates along my broken skin - for all this is self inflicted, no one should pity me