Ponderings of a chronic insomniac on the cusp of personal reform

I write a lot when I can't sleep
I write a lot of half formed dreams
Of fevers and desires and anxiety
And the dark shadows lurking inside of me

I think I've decided to tear off the mask
To let go of the pretense and let go of the past
I have a few dreams that I want to last
So I've got no time to waste with eyes downward cast

I want to pull off the layers to reveal everything
Tattoos and scars and insecurities
No longer asking for forgiveness for standing naked in the breeze
Sharing my true nature with the dirt and the trees

I've been a victim and I've been a survivor
I've planted seeds and I've started the occasional fire
I've calmed troubled seas and I've stirred up ire
So now I lay myself down on a funeral pyre

Because I am who I am instead of who I should be
But no longer want to rely on that shaky fantasy
I hope to welcome the truth with ground secured to both feet
And take one step at a time into my destiny

I hope today is the day that this begins
Until that day when it all finally ends