Tears I cry of my mother!

my Mother at one time had me seeing a doctor that i was to have spoke of my feelings....once he gained my trust, enough that i utter them. But he made a mistake in asking how can a mother allow such to happen to her daughter.... I spit in his face....my hell was hers as well....He knew nothing of her to place such stone throwing judgment upon her.... she done everything to try to protect me,,, even to the point of almost dying for me....and i know she would go through it all again if she had too.... i have learned that somethings many would not understand...not sure if its cause they can't or if its cause they won't....my first, time i remember, i was too young to know my age back then and i had to have been younger than 5 years old...maybe younger than 4.... such shame over comes me this very moment.....remember Him grabbing me....scared, thinking i done something wrong....remember hearing mother crying...pulling at me....seeing Him hit her....feeling her blood sprinkle across my skin....showering from her lips...remember Him firmly holding my arms, shaking me...not know if it was my fear that drown His voice...but seeing lips screaming at me...reading them...."your just another nasty little whore". i still dream of them words....not hearing but reading.... i felt , Him pinching my little chest, as His hand went under my laced little dress...tried so hard, to push away from.... His fingers sliding cotton panties to the side.... squirming crying... seeing"mother" come back repeatedly....hitting Him, pulling at His arms...crying out in cherokee "she's just a baby, no just a baby". begging Him. i seen Him elbow her so hard...she failed backwards could hear her struggling to raise herself...as i felt His finger enter me....tears caressed my cheeks as i looked at Him...He pulled me to Him....i cried out...feeling His fingers spreading me... He lowered me back down...such pain i felt.... next i knew...i woke up in mother's arms...she was crying...washing my little legs... its, so odd, i was so little...but yet i can remember mother's words..like it was yesterday....i wake up hearing her words..." momma so sorry babygirl ....so sorry...." i always whisper to her that it was never her to blame" and we no longer live in fear nor shame....... I'll love you always momma!
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What you all just red is a short true story that my beautiful daughter wrote.... even though it hurts to read even myself... my daughter and I always share our feelings and thoughts no matter good or bad... its our way of dealing with our nightmare of a past.... as a mother my heart remains broken that I wasn't able to protect her more than I did... but now that her and I have healed... yet remember, never to forget... our healing has allowed us to not turn bitter.... and continue to allow our life to flourish...my daughter has overcame much of her past... she has given me a handsome Grandson and she found true love even for herself... which makes me so proud.... and eases my pain... that now I am able to some what walk away from my past as well... allowing me to seek my rightful place.... kneeling before a true Master... that has honor about His self.... now even I can truly heal... momma will always love you  babygirl, yes we no longer live in fear nor shame!