deepundergroundpoetry.com
Mental Illness
This isn't real
even though
I see
I smell
I feel
This is a nightmare
inescapable
undeniable
No one there
All alone here
silent
dark
full of fear
I wake up sweaty and hot
restrained
padded walls
another shot
Goodnight
even though
I see
I smell
I feel
This is a nightmare
inescapable
undeniable
No one there
All alone here
silent
dark
full of fear
I wake up sweaty and hot
restrained
padded walls
another shot
Goodnight
Published 2nd Mar 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 770
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Mar 2015 3:48pm
This is a strong and concise view of mental illness in general. You might try something later (when psyched up) about a certain type, i.e. bipolar syndrome, depression, etc. This is very well structured. Both stanzas have identical line lengths, and are arranged in accordance. There's a nice irony to the final shot goodnight, as opposed to a kiss. Really fine!
2nd Mar 2015 7:09pm
