deepundergroundpoetry.com
It seems that i am skirting the edge...
You want me to let
one of your friends to move in
to this house with us
i am thinking "no" if he
is only a friend of yours
.
you had the nerve to
complain that i would try to
move my raven in
should she need a place to stay
i would never ask you that
.
it is telling that
you reference my raven though
is he just a friend
I would sooner let him sleep
in your bed than change my house
.
the only way that
he moves in is if you call
my raven up and
apologizing to her
for forcing me to not go
.
In all the world there
are only three people that
i want to talk to
you, our daughter, and my raven
that blocked me months ago
.
you have your friends and
their drama that you go see
i don't have her to
text, not since you made me miss
her mother's memorial
one of your friends to move in
to this house with us
i am thinking "no" if he
is only a friend of yours
.
you had the nerve to
complain that i would try to
move my raven in
should she need a place to stay
i would never ask you that
.
it is telling that
you reference my raven though
is he just a friend
I would sooner let him sleep
in your bed than change my house
.
the only way that
he moves in is if you call
my raven up and
apologizing to her
for forcing me to not go
.
In all the world there
are only three people that
i want to talk to
you, our daughter, and my raven
that blocked me months ago
.
you have your friends and
their drama that you go see
i don't have her to
text, not since you made me miss
her mother's memorial
Published 25th Feb 2015
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28th Feb 2015 2:08am
28th Feb 2015 2:36am
its easy to let go, ive done it many times.. problem is that when i let go, i go dead inside...
she has totally left my life three times at this point
once in 1999
once in 2004
and now in 2014
after she left me in 1999, i got married to someone else in 2001,
i thought i was recovered and fully alive...
then she came back in 2003 when she moved in with my then-wife and I
it wasnt until recently that i realized that i got married to whom i did because i was punishing my self for 1996-1999
in 2004, i went off the deep end, barely alive, i didnt fully recover until 2008, then my divorce from my first wife was finalized
by the time i got married again in 2010, i thought i was fully alive
in 2012, raven swings through again... and now it is almost three years later... if past pattern holds, i will recover by 2018...
just in time for her to destroy my life again.
by then, rylee will be 11, and able to see and understand the side show
she has totally left my life three times at this point
once in 1999
once in 2004
and now in 2014
after she left me in 1999, i got married to someone else in 2001,
i thought i was recovered and fully alive...
then she came back in 2003 when she moved in with my then-wife and I
it wasnt until recently that i realized that i got married to whom i did because i was punishing my self for 1996-1999
in 2004, i went off the deep end, barely alive, i didnt fully recover until 2008, then my divorce from my first wife was finalized
by the time i got married again in 2010, i thought i was fully alive
in 2012, raven swings through again... and now it is almost three years later... if past pattern holds, i will recover by 2018...
just in time for her to destroy my life again.
by then, rylee will be 11, and able to see and understand the side show
She has an unhealthy hold on you. I wish you can walk away from everyone. They can live without you...and you can start life enew somewhere some place.
1st Mar 2015 3:44pm
beginning to look like it is a choice between life as part of ravens life, if only peripherally...
and not
and not
