Never Be

the first time I saw you
I knew I’d love you forever
because I knew I’d loved you before

I was certain you’d haunt my days
and swallow my nights

you once seemed to love me back
but you grew cruel
in words and actions

still the only thing that has ever  
felt right in this life
was being with you

you made the me without you
intolerable
when before the me alone  
had been bearable

once you sat playing guitar
I held onto you from behind
as if you were saving my life
you probably weren't there with me at all

but I couldn't move
couldn't stop touching
feeling you
I’d never known
such burning perfection
and completion

decades have passed
yet you still haunt my dreams
as if you hold my soul-strings
in your hands

sometimes I sit
and realize you are breathing
at this very moment

I shiver

and live for the day
you lead me back home
into the safety and rightness
of your body
your soul

forever

please
my sweet love
come back to me