The Forever Cycle

In the darkness I sit.
My mind in quiet contemplation.
My spirit in resignation,
Or exasperation, or desperation.

Is it worth the time
To exact the will?
Or just be still
With no joy to fill?

Should I still care
And keep on trying?
Say I'm flying
But all the time lying, crying?

Would any one really notice
If I just slip away
With nothing to say,
A needle in hay?

Is it to much to ask
For a smiling face?
A warm embrace?
A faint caring trace?

Or will I sit here
All alone
By the phone
With no hope shown?

Maybe it's my fault.
Because I make them go
When I say, "No,
It will not blow."

So again it starts.
When all my friends
Think it's the end
Because I will not bend.

I need a bigger change
To fully unwind.
And a chance to find
A saner mind.