deepundergroundpoetry.com
Inspiration
Thoughts come into my mind,
Fleeting, like wind through a quiet garden
Where the flowers are always in bloom.
They coil themselves inside my mind,
Often entangled in one another.
I cannot capture them all
As they float by on the breeze.
I cannot untangle all of the wild
Ever growing vines.
I cannot understand
Every whispered line,
But at least I can hear the wind.
Fleeting, like wind through a quiet garden
Where the flowers are always in bloom.
They coil themselves inside my mind,
Often entangled in one another.
I cannot capture them all
As they float by on the breeze.
I cannot untangle all of the wild
Ever growing vines.
I cannot understand
Every whispered line,
But at least I can hear the wind.
Published 3rd May 2011
| Edited 9th May 2011
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
8th May 2011 3:22pm
I really like the imagery in this piece. The comma after "I cannot capture them all" and maybe also the one after "I cannot untangle all of the wild" add pauses while reading that perhaps shouldn't be emphasized, they break up the flow of the thought. But those are very minor considerations in a very beautiful piece. The last three lines are excellent.
8th May 2011 3:44pm
1st Sep 2012 3:15am
