That small bit of help

I sit in silence, as I listen to the echoes of my past.
Child laughter, love and harmony.
Child weeping, loneliness and grief.
I was never like the others. I never will be.
The memories of the past continues to haunt me.
I beg this pain to go away, but every dark day arranges the skies the same.
No one understands the pain I feel. It might just be an illusion, but it feels too real.
Darkened and clouded, I can’t see through rain.
Screaming “Please someone fucking realize I’m in deep pain!”
They all seem to have a joyful life on both good and bad.
I’ve never lived my teenage years ‘cause I’ve always been sad.
They told me once, they told me twice;
“Keep calm, think positive and keep moving forward!”
All I could find in these words was lies.
It helped me for a week, before it returned, sneaking up like a cancer.
Death by pain, losing my emotional state, everyone is to fucking blame!
I’m not sick, I’m just a kid who suffered so much he needs one to unbreak himself.
Is there anyone out there who wishes to give me that small bit of help?