deepundergroundpoetry.com
-Into the Field
I've been lost in a field of grey
its monochromatic grass
slithers sweetly between my toes
keeping me complacent and lulled
with a false sense of security
apathetically I dine with death's-head moths
my eyes sallow from the vibrant belladonna
growing beneath crooked spread trees
where old abandoned crows tell their secrets
and amaurotic owls haunt the evening
benign to the fact I wasn't alone
I picked a young dandelion
with daffodil dreams
perilously holding on
feverishly watching it die
as I died along with it
I was left with a trenchant grin
for I'd gladly watch us die again and again
if there were only a chance to fulfill a destiny
forsaken hearts have never known
-ed
its monochromatic grass
slithers sweetly between my toes
keeping me complacent and lulled
with a false sense of security
apathetically I dine with death's-head moths
my eyes sallow from the vibrant belladonna
growing beneath crooked spread trees
where old abandoned crows tell their secrets
and amaurotic owls haunt the evening
benign to the fact I wasn't alone
I picked a young dandelion
with daffodil dreams
perilously holding on
feverishly watching it die
as I died along with it
I was left with a trenchant grin
for I'd gladly watch us die again and again
if there were only a chance to fulfill a destiny
forsaken hearts have never known
-ed
Written by
DiscipleofLife
(Fenom)
Published 2nd Jan 2015
| Edited 8th Aug 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 3
comments 21
reads 1338
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Into the Field
2nd Jan 2015 5:04pm
this wretched landscape & bleak outlook you've painted is achingly lovely Eddie
i particularly loved
"I picked a young dandelion
with daffodil dreams perilously holding on
feverishly watching it die"
well written
i particularly loved
"I picked a young dandelion
with daffodil dreams perilously holding on
feverishly watching it die"
well written
1
re: Re: Into the Field
2nd Jan 2015 5:11pm
I appreciate the kind words and visit, Yekaterina. That's pretty much what I was aiming for...
Re: Into the Field
2nd Jan 2015 8:19pm
"I'd gladly watch us die again and again
if there were only a chance to fulfill a destiny"
love that line and this great poem! :-) thanks for share
if there were only a chance to fulfill a destiny"
love that line and this great poem! :-) thanks for share
1
re: Re: Into the Field
3rd Jan 2015 6:46am
Re: Into the Field
3rd Jan 2015 4:13am
Oh my goodness, I loved this how the flower was the one spot of color. You told a story that was a beautiful melancholic love story amazing!
1
re: Re: Into the Field
What an amazing comment, thank you. I rather enjoyed writing this piece... Glad it made your list...
Re: Into the Field
3rd Jan 2015 11:21am
"I'd gladly watch us die again and again
if there were only a chance to fulfill a destiny"
I like this line too. I may have to steal it... lol. No, seriously, great work. I loved the flow of it
if there were only a chance to fulfill a destiny"
I like this line too. I may have to steal it... lol. No, seriously, great work. I loved the flow of it
1
Re: Into the Field
Re: Into the Field
5th Jan 2015 2:46am
so much sorrow here. elusive destiny abandoning those forlorn hearts, that even the crows & owls cannot rescue...
1
Re: Into the Field
5th Jan 2015 7:42am
re: Re: Into the Field
5th Jan 2015 11:25pm
Thank you for your visit and kind words, jemac... The list add as well...
Re: Into the Field
Anonymous
13th Jan 2015 10:24am
A young daffodil with dandelion dreams...you have a real way with words my friend
1
re: Re: Into the Field
Though you got it backward ;), I certainly appreciate the kind words, thanks... :)
re: re: Re: Into the Field
Anonymous
13th Jan 2015 10:31am
Haha! Yes I did...I wonder if there is a hidden meaning in that...
1
Re: Into the Field
1st Feb 2015 00:33am
There's a sense of nihilism in this brilliant poem that stays with you long after being read my friend.
Cheers...Harry
Cheers...Harry
1
re: Re: Into the Field
1st Feb 2015 7:26pm
Re. -Into the Field
28th Mar 2016 3:48am
Re. -Into the Field
6th Jul 2016 3:51am
Intricate and complex in both imagery and word choice.... I want to keep reading it, it has a lot of depth.....
1
Re: Re. -Into the Field
6th Jul 2016 4:52am
Re: Re. -Into the Field
7th Jul 2016 6:16am