The Lost Daughter

I wonder if you watched as I walked away.
I'll never know.
Like a fool.
Like a
Heart
Broken
Fool,
I didn't look back.
Well not that day anyway.
I walked away trying not to laugh,
smirk,
cheer.
...
March.
Step.
Step.
March.
I know you called my name.
I heard your voice
from across the street,
chipper
and almost hopeful.
Over joyed
at just the thought
of seeing her child.
"Mandy!"
I could feel the warm smile,
the gentle eyes
as they focused on my back,
but then it cooled.
I wonder
if it was my icy determination to forget you,
a mother I once had,
that chilled my heart.
Or if you simply gave up before you tried
...
Again.
Just more questions to clutter my mind,
that's what you bring.
I wonder if you knew you were late for the trial.
Sitting here
I wish I had looked back.
That I had stopped you,
and asked why.
I wonder
if you would have fought then,
or just disappoint me again.
I knew you were there.
I knew you had come.
I wonder why you were late.
March.
I have to keep walking.
You left your little girl.
Step.
Step.
March.
I wonder
if you knew
you had missed your last chance.
You keep me wondering and pondering.
Maybe someday
As I whisper into my own daughters hair,
I can answer those questions.
I won't wonder anymore
if she did care.