Raw

is very raw and paints a macabre and yet very striking image of fighting back. great job

thank you for the read and lovely comment..peace Brenda :)

I hate chalk board sounds ewe lol nice poem

Me too lol I hate that sound too..thank you Gg for the sweet comment..peace Brenda :)

This is horribly evocative. I winced while reading the opening lines. You have a gift for conveying sex and violence in a way so raw it has an almost physical effect on the reader.
L9 needs an "a" before "fighter", and L13 should really begin with "ravaged", I think. Other than that though a marvellous read.

thank you Jack for the heads up on the errors and thank you for the beautiful comment..peace Brenda

Sucks I'm sorry it's morbid and un understandable, you should pray a little more

Whatever..

You think that sucks than read mine...you'll have yourself committed to an asylum "laughs" just kidding we are all entitled to our opinion.  

@Flexy - Do you think all poetry should be sunshine and flowers? I'm sorry I know it isn't my place to attack your opinion, especially as crimsin asked for honest critique, but "morbid" isn't a critique. That's completely subjective. Pain is a part of the human experience and thus should be explored in art. And as for praying a little more, well, I have no words. How is that helpful criticism? I mean, seriously, how is a blithe and patronising remark like that useful?
Also, before I go: "un understandable"? I'm sorry but if you don't understand this then I don't see how you manage to manoeuvre through life without being hopelessly perplexed constantly.

"you should pray a little more"....shittest comment in the entire history of shit comments....

Apologies for this. Was in a bad state and it hit home. It is a very good poem

ty Flexy no apologies needed you said what you felt..peace Crim

don't let it get you down...I liked it! You painted a vivid picture...Guts hanging and shoving back in...the reason I love your poetry!

You make me smile Maikeru it didn't get me down..ty for the sweet comment..peace Brenda

Say hey there. It was an alright poem. However, I feel that it was a bit confusing. I mean, I got what you meant and it wasn't that you used words that confused me, it's just that you seemed to go from one thing to another. I understand metaphors and such, but the beginning seemed totally different than the rest of the poem. So, it was a bit convoluted. Still, nice job!

I appreciate your honesty it doesn't come across but I feel like my soul is raw and stripped by the powers that be..but I understand how it wouldn't make sense..peace Brenda