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My Mom

My mom I never really got to know her

I have vague memories of her kindness but strangeness

She heard voices and would become manic

I'm ashamed to say even as a child though I loved her

I was also embarrassed by her eratic behavior

I loved her she had such a kind soul

Would take me to mass and though I would sguiggle and squirm

She would kindly admonish me hush little one and listen to the priest

These are my fond memories of her

Mostly I was an angry little girl

Left alone most of the time running the streets at three years old

She was committed to the hospitol and some how I had been left alone

I had been left in the house no electricity, no food for three days

I remember well the night the cops came in guns drawn

My back to the wall

From there it was off to foster care

I remember pleading with the kind social worker

To take me home

That I would be a good girl

Terrified of a foreign home

From there I went to live with my dad

All was well he was a crop duster

He did his best to provide me a stable home

Though a rage I couldn't express burned bright inside my tiny heart

I alienated people pushed them away

The love I once had for my mom had turned to hate

After I had grown I visited her a couple times in the mental ward

I could no longer make a connection with her she was too far gone

She died when I was eighteen

I didn't miss her

Then when the paranoia and mania

Started to manifest in me

My heart started to grow soft for my mom

I know she is in heaven now

Sane and finally safe

I pray some how she hears me and will forgive me my hate.

Written by crimsin

(Unveiling)

Published 20th Apr 2011

All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.

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comments 9 reads 878

Commenting Preference:

The author encourages honest critique.

a quick edit for ya...

Anonymous

20th Apr 2011 8:03am

Away is one word:

Yours:
I alienated people pushed them a way

Corrected:
I alienated people pushed them away

Still 5/5 stars for me! Great write! You're a good storyteller. I felt as if this had happened to me! It was so engaging! Have you ever thought about maybe writing short stories? If that really happened to you, wow what a thing to go through, abandonment....:(

crimsin (Unveiling)

20th Apr 2011 8:09am

Thank you for the heads up on the edit and yes this is a true story..I miss my mom now and understand her better..thank you for the encouragement..peace Brenda