caffeine crutches

I drink coffee like it'll get me high
The addict in me hungering
For a comfort I cant find in a panic attack

It's the kind of day I want to break the world
Because I'm tired of apologising
For who I am
Like I'm so easily changeable
Like I need to be changed
To better suit an environment
That's choking me with unrealistic expectations

If I wasn't a master of manipulation
Before walking through that door
I'll be a liar by the time I leave

And I don't know why
On days like these I don't
Just walk away from these
Streets that aren't home to my feet
Let alone my soul

I'm not sure the journey
Is worth the dream
Though I'll stay for the ride

When its over there will be
No looking back
To this place that held me under
And told me to love it
Like drowning was the best experience
I'd ever have

(C) Indie Adams 2014