deepundergroundpoetry.com
Crazy Love
She looked at him with tear filled eyes
and said she couldn't take it anymore.
She said I'm sorry, but I have to go.
She walked out and left him alone.
Now he's scared, doesn't know where you are.
Didn't think you would go real far.
He's calling all over town
as he's driving all around.
How could this be?
Where can she be?
It's almost midnight
and he's worried to death.
Wondering if you're alright
he doesn't know
she booked a flight.
But now she's scared of being alone
she's so scared
she doesn't have her phone.
How could this be?
Will he come and save me?
and said she couldn't take it anymore.
She said I'm sorry, but I have to go.
She walked out and left him alone.
Now he's scared, doesn't know where you are.
Didn't think you would go real far.
He's calling all over town
as he's driving all around.
How could this be?
Where can she be?
It's almost midnight
and he's worried to death.
Wondering if you're alright
he doesn't know
she booked a flight.
But now she's scared of being alone
she's so scared
she doesn't have her phone.
How could this be?
Will he come and save me?
Published 4th Oct 2014
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4th Oct 2014 4:02am
Why does the two-line bit after the first stanza change "she" to "you?" For the rest of this, the differences in the forms of the stanzas do seem appropriate enough as to the craziness you might be seeking to capture.
4th Oct 2014 2:25pm
Yeah it could be part of "Crazy" lol. I don't know I just wrote as it came to me.
Maybe it could be interpreted as someone's talking in 3rd person about the guy and girl, then in the two-line stanza it changes to 2nd person like someone's talking directly to the girl telling her that he's worried about her.
Then it goes back to 3rd person, and in the fourth stanza it goes back to 2nd person, then the very last line it's 1st person.
So it goes kind of in a pattern:
3rd person
2nd person
3rd person
2nd person
3rd person
1st person
Does that make any sense?
Maybe it could be interpreted as someone's talking in 3rd person about the guy and girl, then in the two-line stanza it changes to 2nd person like someone's talking directly to the girl telling her that he's worried about her.
Then it goes back to 3rd person, and in the fourth stanza it goes back to 2nd person, then the very last line it's 1st person.
So it goes kind of in a pattern:
3rd person
2nd person
3rd person
2nd person
3rd person
1st person
Does that make any sense?
I can't believe I only regarded the first occurence -- well, no, I can believe it; my mind does funny things sometimes. I know I was aware of the rest of the poem, but somehow only regarded the first occurence of that change.
Um, well...no, I don't really see how changing from 3rd person to second person and so on works out here. Is this an accounting of a he going crazy, looking for a certain she, or is it a he talking to the she? Mixing the two up like this here is indeed a crazy mess, but just a mess, not furthering any notions of craziness. Perhaps one could see it as you've suggested, if they had that suggestion in mind...Or, maybe if you had the changes more spaced out, and maybe in a different text style, a reader might get that picture.
Um, well...no, I don't really see how changing from 3rd person to second person and so on works out here. Is this an accounting of a he going crazy, looking for a certain she, or is it a he talking to the she? Mixing the two up like this here is indeed a crazy mess, but just a mess, not furthering any notions of craziness. Perhaps one could see it as you've suggested, if they had that suggestion in mind...Or, maybe if you had the changes more spaced out, and maybe in a different text style, a reader might get that picture.
