Hi Daddy

Hi daddy, it's your little girl.
I'm 8 years old. And I love to draw.
Do you remember daddy?
When I drew you pictures all night.
While we watched movies on the TV.
You are always so silly daddy.
You walk crazy a lot and you talk in funny voices too!
You like to sleep a lot, daddy.
Do you remember daddy?
When you stayed up playing cards and talking to your friend?
I have one of those too.
But mommy always told me it was just my imagination.
And when I get older I will stop seeing her
So why do you still talk to your imaginary friend daddy?
Hi daddy, it's your little girl
I'm 10 years old. And I love playing house.
Do you remember daddy?
When I dressed my baby brother up like a little girl.
You were so angry at me.
You told me boys were meant to be boys not girls.
You still are very silly daddy.
You love to joke around.
But something isn’t right daddy.
You like to drink a lot
You say it's normal and that all the adults do it
So why doesn’t momma do it?
Momma says you’re fighting demons.
And it's hard for little girls like me to understand.
Daddy, why are your eyes always so glossy?
Hi dad, it's your little girl
I'm 12 years old. And I love to go to church with you.
Do you remember dad?
Waking me up with coffee every Sunday morning.
It was my favorite part of the weekend.
Mom doesn’t like to give me coffee.
You say it's your special treat.
Things have been so different dad.
Now that you are sober.  
I didn’t even know you had a problem dad.
Why didn’t you even tell me?
It's taking time to adjust to the new you dad.
But I know this is better.
You seem a lot happier now.
Do you remember dad.
Sharing you belief in God with me?
You told me you always looked into the church and wished you were that guy.
The guy that knew Jesus.
Well now you are that guy dad.
I am so proud.
Hi dad, it's your little girl.
I'm 14 years old. I'm not so little any more
You started drinking again dad.
Except it's different now.
I don’t like that you drink.
I wish you were sober again. But I like how you let me drink with you.
Do you remember dad?
When I took advantage of you drinking.
I dank four locos with you without you even realizing.
Do you remember dad?
When you found weed in my bag.
And you flushed it down the toilet.
I know it was hard to do that.
I guess this is growing up.
When you start figuring out what makes the pain go away.
Do you remember dad?
When you found out I had taken a razor to my skin.
How you gave me a hug and told me you understood.
You and I are really close now dad.
You are my best friend.
We are so much alike dad!
I guess the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Hi daddy, it's your baby girl.
I'm 15 now daddy. And I'm fighting my own demons
Do you remember daddy?
When I was little and so innocent.
Now I'm like your twin.
I covered your addictions to hide my own.
Do you remember daddy?
How on my birthday you bought alcohol and I drank with you.
I thought you were the best parent ever!
Do you remember daddy?
When I snuck out of the house to go meet friends in Bellevue?
How scared you were.
Do you remember daddy?
How depressed I became.
I know you remember. Because you have been there too.
Do you remember daddy?
How you gave me pills and then woke up on your bed not knowing how you got there.
That was when I finally realized it.
Daddy I know you are fighting your demons, just like I'm fighting mine.
But you cannot live this way
Do you remember daddy?
When you thought I would think differently of you when you came out as a cross dresser.
I cried on the phone but I was full of support.
Everyone has their issues daddy. You’re not the only one.
Do you remember daddy?
How you got arrested for a DUI and you had cocaine on you.
You were lucky and didn’t get caught.
I thought that would be enough to make you stop.
I thought that you were ganna be okay.
But you’re not.
You’re still abusing substances to make yourself feel better.
See the truth is daddy I don’t blame you for feeling stuck.
I don’t blame you for feeling like you need to escape from reality.
I’ve been there. I understand.
But do you remember daddy?
When you decided to get clean.
How happy you became.
When you decided to go to church.
How passionate you became.
When you decided to be the father you never were.
How close we became.
Daddy, don’t get me wrong I love you.
But don’t you see. What you’re doing is killing me.
Daddy do yourself a favor and walk away right now.
Daddy do you remember how much I love you?
Daddy please remember daddy.
I love you daddy
Forever and always your little girl