UNFINISHED WORK 'I met God the other Day.'

I met God the other day.

And this is what I had to say.

But first, let me tell you a little of my thoughts along the way

You see to me the subjective thoughts on freedom

I've had most of my life

Reinstate a calming notion

That there's really no difference between wrong and right

What's wrong to me is right to you

And what's wrong in God's eyes is just another perspective too

And i've told my self that we are all living proof

That the truth of real freedom

Is to simply have a real freedom of truth

But then I suppose if this isn't true

We are all just finger puppets

And god is finger fucking both me and you  

And if that's the truth well then fuck him too

Fuck his laws fuck the bible fuck the Catholics fuck the Jews

Fuck anyone who does anything in the lords name

Fuck his ten commandments and fuck not shouting him in vain

Seriously though, either way,

whether freedom is absolute

Or it's a façade of a god made human brain

I say do what feels good and enjoy the now and today.


So what did I do along the way to meeting god you say?

Brace yourself bitches. Cause this is exactly what I told god straight to his face.

He said 'Hello my son. How are you feeling today?'

"God, I feel fucking great. This life was more than just okay. I mean you know what I did along the way"

"But hear it from my mouth. And the lack of conviction my words carry to this day "

"I listened to loud music and damaged my ears for so many fucking years."

"I filled my lungs with toxic clouds of smoke, stupid shit like dope, contemplated consequences but treated them like jokes"

"I damaged my brain with an array of narcotics."

Subjected myself to a list of voodoo tonics,  sometimes just pure demonic shit. And I loved every second of it.

To the point where I altered my already imbalanced chemicals beyond repair. There. I said it. Now it's out there for you to judge.

To you I am probably the Antichrist. And god damn It feels nice!

I pierced, stretched and wounded my skin, until the shape of my former self was beyond any contemplating.

Relating it all to an an expedition of self expressions.

Erections? I got them everywhere. In the classroom in the office, walking up the fucking stairs

I mean I even had them in church for fucks sake. Sorry about that. That was weird i guess but it was kinda different. Kinda felt great.

I did, and would do again, with total disregard for recommended calorie intake,

Eat a whole pizza by myself. That right there to most, don't feel like a big mistake.

I mean none of this does. Least not to me at the time. I mean what else is there besides the now

And what else then that is more sublime?

God: 'Well...'

So I got fucked up, I fucked up and sometimes I just simply fucked.

Enough wasn't enough. This kind of lifestyle ain't tough, let me tell you

I did at least one stupid thing every day. Sometimes beyond a countable array.

I didn't learn from most mistakes i made.

I definitely disappointed my parents. Well fuck em I say.

I didn't get to choose what life I was born into. Did you God? Did you?

God: 'My Chil...'

Don't answer that actually. Your words may just further infuriate me  




I mean I've probably pissed you off more than you have me, right up until my last dying days. I REALLY went out in an unholy blaze of glory. Still an epic story don't you think?  

God: 'Your stor.....'

"Shut it lord! I ain't done! Cause just like you

I knew one day this moment would come."

"And i've had countless years of your sermons shoved down my throat. And DON'T make me utter what else your holy servants made me choke."

'......'

"Yeah you know what time I meant. Remember the words 'Kneel down my child, and fucking repent" ?  


And God was completely silent, and the heavens were calm. The sudden changed should have alarmed me. But it didn't. Cause I felt like he knew what I was going to say, every step of the way.


So I cried. And the next words I had to utter in complete dismay, but total clarity and no iota of disarray


'You did this to me. All of it. I hope you understand. You made this world what it is, and who i am.

And I broke your rules, and the body you gave me.

I never once begged for your forgiveness and hoped that you would save me.

I never once asked for your help, and expected it to come.

Us humans truly felt abandoned beyond any recognition.

But this isn't me complaining. In fact, this is me saying cheers.

Thanks for all those struggling, harsh and fucking cruel years.

You see I know you

And this world you had a hand in

The strength you need to live in it is so demanding

Beyond any priest, pope and pastor

I learnt about you

And who I am so much faster

Through mistakes and wrong doing

Infinite battles ensewing

Within my mind and throughout humankind

I grew

I felt

I knew

There was a point to it all

And even in my continuous fall


From your holy grace

I understood why you breathed life into the human race"


I was silent. I wanted God to ask why


'My dearest son. Give me your perspective on the meaning of all life'

I was frustrated and I angrily berated

"My God! The meaning of life was simply just to live! Beyond a simple explanation and perspective, I ain't got nothing more to give!"

God: 'Then don't give me simple, give me complex yet precise. I WANT YOUR TAKE ON THE MEANING OF THIS LIFE!!!'


I stopped in the beckon of his holy colossal voice.


And In his frustration. I found absolute rejoice.

I waited. contemplated. I felt something inside my soul I had never felt before.


"No" I implored

Then I just smiled and stared.

God shouted 'WHY?!'


"You don't get my answer, in metaphor or otherwise"  

"You don't get the privilege of what it means to be me."


You see, I understand that you may know everything already, within your created lands"


God smiled and ushered with his hand

God: 'Go on my son'

"So asking me this question is redundant to me and the point is really none"

I paused and waited.

God contemplated


God: 'Well....what you say is right. And now the real question remains;


Through your answer what does I, God, gain?'


'Must be something' I exclaimed


God: "Yes it is. And I'll i'll tell you what it's all for.

It's nothing more than another perspective. Call it if you will, an act of me being trying to be self reflective"

'You see in all it's glory, the world i made, follows rules and so must I, be as it may'

'So I can't know what you are going to say next. I never knew where this world was going to head'

'I never knew the human race could be so unkind, that hate would be the benchmark to define your lives'

'And I could sit here and give you a thousand sorries my son, but I had no hand in your life after the initial one'

"I kinda felt it" I muttered. Crying amongst uttered words

And I knew from God what next was going to be heard.

'Freedom created comes with it perks, but also what lurks behind it all

Is the creators knowledge he could watch the beauty of it all disastrously fall'