The Coward

Cowardice. I see it in you. That ugly (hu)man trait.
Born out of fear of confronting the dirty truth. Your dirty truth.

Don't show it, don't talk about it. Those mistakes, regrets.
Because if they're hidden, no-one can judge you, right?

So you carry on, smile and act the happy go lucky lad.
Play on the bright stage you've created in your mind.

You take a bow for your successes, forget your failures.
Don’t realise that your reactions to them are what count.

You believe that your subconscious isn't reacting,
slowly spinning cobwebs of self-hate in your dark corners.

You continue to reinvent your history each time you speak.
Wipe your slate clean, and leave out those gory bits.

But that gory shame you feel, it’s hidden in your cells.
Don't worry, Strong Man... it will slowly grow into your cancer.

And until then, you subconsciously carry your load,
a secret bag of issues from which you run daily.

Ignore the missed chances, lost under the layers of dirt
that you threw on them. Close your eyes to your bad choices.

Hide them away, Coward. Hide them in a bottle, a joint,
a soulless night. Believe they don’t affect you.

Forget the lost daughter that you walked away from.
Or the words you never told your father before he passed.

Or the distorted story you told yourself about your true love.
The one that got away, because you allowed it to happen.

I can pretend I don't see it in you, and try not to judge you.
But show me cowardice and all respect and trust disappears.

Because it disgusts me. Your weakness.

But really, the disgust is a disguise...
For the disgust I feel for the cowardice... In me.