Looking for things I cant find.

I’m looking  for  things I can’t find  
In places I don’t want to be  
I keep wandering in these little circles  
Where I find my mothers sweet nurture  
And sweet supple of insanity  
 
I’m looking so tired as of late  
Tawny from the tug and pull of fate  
From sad and unabated mistakes  
That drive me to suicide  
And lure me to placate  
 
Then these whites just scream
Over all depressing tones of grey  
From eyes that surely must be piercing  
Protruding with just a tickle
Of life's timeless decay  
 
So lead me every now and again  
To these places of destiny  
Dream deep in our grass
And lead me
Towards this ever creeping edge  
Down vines that tangle into dreams of swift decent
For all of that dredges in the night