deepundergroundpoetry.com
Last Roots Upon
Show me your disguise
And I will fade away
Am I just another puppet of ur excuse
Show me your disguise
And I'll hold on too u
Gone away
TO A BETTER LIFE
THIS IS OUR BABY
GONE TOO A BETTER LIFE
NOT OF SICKNESS
CHRIST WILL BE WITH U
Christ will be with u
And I know u will hate me
Show me your disguise
And I'll have the chance to thank u as I'm sick
(Cut off these ties)
I WISH U WELL
Show me your disguise
And I'll hold on too u
TO A BETTER LIFE
THIS IS OUR BABY
GONE TOO A BETTER LIFE
NOT OF SICKNESS
CHRIST WILL BE WITH U
Christ will be with u
All around u wanna become
Do all the things intended for freedom
And give back won't that help to make u stay out of trouble
UPON OUR BODIES
THE SCARS START TO BLEED AGAIN OHHHH
STRONG TODAY(Weak tomorrow)x4
Show me your disguisex3
And I will fade away
Published 4th Sep 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
5th Sep 2014 1:28pm
This is... nice. It's nice, but it's little more than that. Though I know it would do well with music, the words themselves feel rather detached on their own. I mean, it doesn't really show what you're trying to say. I can't make out how these lyrics are supposed to feel.
It's a good enough read, but it's not the kind that would strike a chord (oh-ho-ho, see what I did there?), get me?
(also, this is nitpicking, but you seem to have mixed up "too" and "to"; and using "u" instead of "you" makes this feel like a draft rather than a final product)
But then again, this is all MHO, and all in good nature. I try to say all of this as respectfully as I can, while staying as honest as possible.
Peace, Love, Rock,
Elle
It's a good enough read, but it's not the kind that would strike a chord (oh-ho-ho, see what I did there?), get me?
(also, this is nitpicking, but you seem to have mixed up "too" and "to"; and using "u" instead of "you" makes this feel like a draft rather than a final product)
But then again, this is all MHO, and all in good nature. I try to say all of this as respectfully as I can, while staying as honest as possible.
Peace, Love, Rock,
Elle
7th Sep 2014 11:02am
Thanks
Sorry about that as well, when i use "u" and the other mix up as well
It's one of those things or thoughts of an upcoming idea
That I have to write down fast and make a song out that idea in my head that I write fast and don't look back on the song as a whole
So I forget to fix it sometimes
Sorry about that as well, when i use "u" and the other mix up as well
It's one of those things or thoughts of an upcoming idea
That I have to write down fast and make a song out that idea in my head that I write fast and don't look back on the song as a whole
So I forget to fix it sometimes
