darkness is a the loneliest hour

I wanted you to stay up
and talk to me for hours
so I wouldn’t have to fall asleep
and dream of the things that haunt me

I crack at my reflection in the mirror
while the glass stays flawless
the girl looking back
she doesn’t look like me anymore
and I find myself a ghost in my own skin

And so begins this revolution
on the inside
a fight of reflection
of self-definition
a fight for a freedom
I don’t actually believe in

I wanted to tell you
we’re all slaves
because I thought you might understand
what it’s like to be held under
by the hand that feeds you
while telling you it’s for your own good

The world rallies
and I feel so small amid the press of bodies
the press of idea and ideals
that aren’t mine
but somehow should be

And I want to believe
it gets better than this
that I won’t always be moulded
and reshaped to fit someone else’s dream
of who and what I should be

I wanted you to stay up
and talk to me for hours
so I wouldn’t have to fall asleep
and dream of the things that haunt me
because darkness is always the loneliest hour

But I didn’t have the courage
to tell you I was lonely
and that I wanted you to stay up
and talk to me for hours
so I wouldn’t have to dream
of the things that haunt me

© Indie Adams 2014