Loved Someone??

Have you ever loved someone so much that you almost got sick?
Like you'll choke on your heart if you don't throw up a little bit??
You put your fingers into your throat,
Your index and your middle trying to force it all out but it does not work
You push your fingers a little deeper but love only grows
You want it to stop
You cry
But love does not stream down your eyes,
You slit your wrists,
A little relief,
But it's not enough
You want more,
You think of gods,
Beg for amnesia,
You want to erase her from your memories,
You want to bleed love,
Watch her sliding down your skin
You curse your heart,
Fucks and fuck you,
You want to get rid of it,
You want to tear your chest wide open, cut your heart out and squeeze love out of it..
SILENCE!!
Have you loved someone so much that you hated yourself??