deepundergroundpoetry.com

Chaos

[font=Trebuchet MS]Constantly being suffocated by the voices that haunt my head,
I scream but nobody can hear me,
I scream louder, but no sound comes out,
Am I alive?
Am I still breathing?
Inhale... Exhale�
Funny, I remember those days�
Those days where I dreamt of those fairytale stories you and I used to talk about,
Those stories where that prince takes his princess away,
Where they live happily ever after,
Happy� Don�t bullshit me!
Do you think I have ever been happy?
Do you really believe my lies when I say I�m happy?
Happiness in my life is nonexistent,
How is it possible for me to feel happy when I�m miserable inside?
How can I say I�m happy when deep inside I have become my own pain?
The pain I have is what defines me,
These little cuts on my arms are no accident but pure marks of my misery,
One cut, two cuts, three cuts, four,
Next thing you know,
There are so many cuts you can�t even count anymore,
Every drop of blood that rolls from each cut is a tear that I cannot cry,
Imagine yourself�
So depressed, so down, so out of it,
That your own escape doesn�t even work,
Do you know how hard it is to feel when you have no tears?
The only tears I cry are the ones that drip from my wrists,
This is how I express myself,
Not only do I get the satisfaction of seeing my own scars,
But at school I get mocked and teased about it,
You stupid emo, you stupid boy, you�re a freak,
All alone in your room cutting your wrists,
I stop� Turn around�
I say to them�
Yes I have scars on my wrists,
But you�re the bastard, who made me like this,
Never will you understand the pain I feel,
Never will you get the concept of what it is to be in a mental coma,
You laugh at what I have on my body,
But I worry for what you have become inside,
You�re a monster,
Yet you believe you are a worthy person,
But when it comes to the end,
And there are those two gates from heaven and hell,
I will already be RSVP for heaven,
And you my old pal,
Will be dining in hell�[/font]