Big Brother

My dear big brother
This is a poem dedicated to you
Just you
I've made this for you for a reason
I owe you something
I owe you my life
But poetry is all I can give
We were a war
A one-sided war
I fought you, you never fought back
I didn't even know what the war was for
Why did I fight you so much?
I regret it, I regret it all
All the names, the threats, the lies
I don't know why I would do it to you
Big brother, you were my big brother
You still are
Whenever I'm sad or upset or crying,
I think of you
The words of comfort you spoke
The "love's game we would play
The warmth of your Teddy bear hugs
The soothing look in your cerulean eyes
Big brother, I miss you
I love you
I know I never said it before
The times you really wanted me to
When you were down and hearing me say it would cure you
It doesn't mean anything now, but
"I love you" from you sounds like
Butterflies dancing in meadows of tulips
I love you too, big brother
I always have, but I never said it
I don't know why I didn't
I don't why I couldn't
You were my role model
If you only knew how sorry I am
I'm sorry I didn't say it
I'm sorry I always fought you
But if I could right now,
I would right it all
I'd fake a.smile for you to see in heaven
But it'll never be real
Because I want you back so badly
Big brother, let me forever be your little sister
Hugging you from here to heaven