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Death Surrounds him.
John stands on the cliff, overlooking
the ocean on a cold October night. He
remembers twenty four years ago when his friend
Jason had spoke of suicide. John recalls
telling Jason it wasn't worth losing his
soul. That fateful afternoon on October 1989
Jason called John and ended his life while on
the phone with him. Now years later, John
can still hear the echo of the 357 magnum's
discharge in his mind. John asks himself,
"When will the nightmare end? Could I have
done anything to save him? Am I just as guilty
for what happened to him? I may be. Even though
he pulled the trigger, his blood may be on my
hands." John has thought on this over the last
two and a half decades and considers jumping into
the ocean to drown, the same way he has drowned in
the feelings of guilt, anguish and self hatred since
Jason's suicide. Although John relies on his faith
in God to keep him from suffering the same fate as Jason,
the thought of suicide remains. John thinks silently,
"Hell has no place darker than the hole in my heart.
Nor does anyone feel the sorrow i do. Sorrow is such.
as hell scarcely knows." John wonders briefly if he'll
ever be able ro let it go and mutters, "Never more."
the ocean on a cold October night. He
remembers twenty four years ago when his friend
Jason had spoke of suicide. John recalls
telling Jason it wasn't worth losing his
soul. That fateful afternoon on October 1989
Jason called John and ended his life while on
the phone with him. Now years later, John
can still hear the echo of the 357 magnum's
discharge in his mind. John asks himself,
"When will the nightmare end? Could I have
done anything to save him? Am I just as guilty
for what happened to him? I may be. Even though
he pulled the trigger, his blood may be on my
hands." John has thought on this over the last
two and a half decades and considers jumping into
the ocean to drown, the same way he has drowned in
the feelings of guilt, anguish and self hatred since
Jason's suicide. Although John relies on his faith
in God to keep him from suffering the same fate as Jason,
the thought of suicide remains. John thinks silently,
"Hell has no place darker than the hole in my heart.
Nor does anyone feel the sorrow i do. Sorrow is such.
as hell scarcely knows." John wonders briefly if he'll
ever be able ro let it go and mutters, "Never more."
Published 21st Mar 2011
| Edited 26th Sep 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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While names and the location have been changed, I wrote this poem in memory of a friend who left this world too soon. I implore those of you who consider suicide to reconsider. Consider the ones you would leave behind to grieve or wonder if they may have done something to make you consider such horrible actions. Is it really worth causing a loved one to die of grief? Is it really worth burning in hell for all times?
