So close

Oops, I'm sorry
Maybe I shouldn't have taken that extra hit
Maybe it was just too strong, or I inhaled wrong
Smoke filling my lungs and blurring out the horrid reality
Yet this time I wasn't too careful
Went past my limit
The dizziness starts right away, the short panted breaths
"Lye down, just go lye down." You repeat in your head over and over
Static fills your ears
A numb tingle starts to cover your body in a warm blanket
Hello again, old friend
My dear asthma, oh how I've missed you so
Heart pounding so fast I can feel it with my hand, but can't feel it at the same time
"Go to sleep, you need to bring you'd heart rate down."
I close my eyes and lay on the couch, my friends golden retriever plays near my feet
"Fuck I can't feel anything."
I start to panic because I can't seem to talk, my friend and her father are checking my pulse and asking me questions, but nothing comes out
I feel trapped, my body is a cage inside itself
It wants to collapse due to the error of my decision
I have to keep reminding myself to breathe, even though I can't feel any breath
The paramedics come, they put me in the ambulance
"Fuck fuck fuck" this is not how I wanted to spend my day off
Getting checked by the doctor, maybe it's time I re evaluate my choices in life
It feels like being a fish out of water
Suffocation and complete termination
Like you're drowning, while everyone around you breathes fine
I don't want to remember this night
But god knows I won't forget it