Still...........

I LAY MYSELF DOWN TO SLEEP.
I PRAY THY LORD MY SOUL TO KEEP.
IF I SHALL DIE BEFORE I WAKE.
I PRAY THY LORD MY SOUL TO TAKE.
MY MINDZ STUCK IN THE PAST TIME.
AS THE WORLD TURNS I PRESS REWIND.
DWELLING ON PAST JOBS,PAST LOVES.
LORD TAKE ME HOME WAY UP ABOVE.
ALL THIS STRESS HAS ME SUICIDAL.
NO LONGER CARIN' ABOUT LIVIN' MY ANSWERS FINAL.
QUESTION I'M ASKIN' MYSELF NOW IS HOW TO DO IT.
PILLZ,BULLET IN THE BRAIN,HANGIN',AHH FUCK IT.
AIN'T NUTHIN' TO IT BUT TO DO IT.
I'M THE BLACK SHEEP OF MY FAMILY.
I'VE SAID IT TIME AND TIME AGAIN THEY DISOWNED ME.
LEFT ME LONELY,SAD AND BLUE.
I HAVEN'T ANYMORE OPTIONS,NUTHIN' ELSE I CAN DO.
I JUST WASN'T DESTINED TO SURVIVE.
BESIDES WERE ALL BORN TO DIE.
THERE IS NO HOPE THERE IS NO WILL.
MYSELF I MUST KILL,SO WHAT IF MY FAMILY IS STUCK WITH THE BILL,ALL THIS AIN'T NO BIG DEAL.
THEY ALL THINK THIS IS ONE BIG JOKE,BITCH I'M FOR REAL.
SO MUCH DRAMA THROUGHOUT MY LIFE.
SO MUCH HEARTACHE I'VE WITNESSED IN MY LIFE.
DAY AFTER DAY I ASK JESUS,WHY ME?
ROCK BOTTOM I'VE HIT,SOMEBODY KILL ME,THAT'S WHAT YA GOTTA DO TO SAVE ME.
I'VE CRIED SO MANY TEARS  FOR 25 YEARS.
MY FEELINGS HAVE GROWN STRONGER,DYIN' I DON'T FEAR.
THIS INSANE POETRY IS ALL I HAVE,I HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE.
WHAT IS THE PURPOSE FOR LIFE,WHEN ALL YOU LOVE NO LONGER LIVE.
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT,I NEVER WILL.
EVERY NIGHT I CHASE DOWN A HANDFUL OF PILLZ.
EVERYBODY THINKS I SHOULD BE COMMITTED.
DAMN RIGHT I'M 5150,ON THE WORLD I SHITTED.
AS I WALK THESE WICKED STREETS I SEE PEOPLE WHO SEEM SO HAPPY.
MY LORD WHY CAN'T I BE AS THEY BE?
MY STEP MOTHER HATES ME.
WITH THAT SHIT I AIN'T WORRIED.
I'M FILLED WITH MUCH MIZERY AND SADNESS.
ALL I ASK IS GOD END THIS MADNESS.
2,4,6,8 YES IT IZ I THAT I HATE.
SUICIDE IZ THE PLAN,BUT IZ IT MY FATE.
NOW I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME TO FIND A JOB AND A PLACE TO LAY MY HEAD.
WITH ALL THAT SAID I WITHOUT A DOUBT RATHER BE DEAD.
I'M IN A SO FUCKED SITUATION.
SO DAMN NERVOUS I HAVE A BAD CASE OF CONSTIPATION.
THERE ISN'T A SOUL ON THIS PLANET THAT CAN ASSIST MY ASS.
HOW MUCH LONGER WILL ALL THIS MADNESS LAST.
GOD PLEASE TAKE ME OUTTA THIS FUCKED PREDICAMENT.
ALL THESE WICKED THOUGHTS HAVE MY MIND BENT.
ALL THESE WORDS I'VE SPOKEN BEFORE.
NOTHING LESS AND NOTHING MORE.
THIS SHIT IS WAY BEYOND DEPRESSED.
WISH I HAD SOME GREEN SO I COULD GET SESSED.
I'M NOW INFATUATED WITH MY DEATH AND COMMITTING SUICIDE.
TAKING ME ON A ONE WAY RIDE.
HEAVEN OR HELL.
MY SOUL HAS FELL.
I ALWAYZ HAVE A STORY TO TELL.
TO GET SOME MONEY IS IMPOSSIBLE,I HAVE NOTHING TO SELL.
NOW MY NOSE HAS BEGUN TO BLEED.
FOR LIVING IN SIN COMMITTING MANY EVIL DEEDS.
EVER SINCE 1993 TO THE PRESENT I'VE HAD THESE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.
ALL ON MYSELF IT'S PURE HELL I'VE BROUGHT.
LORD JESUS PLEASE FORGIVE ME.
YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SO UNHAPPY.
ANTI DEPRESSANTS I TAKE ON A DAILY BASIS.
REALITY I JUST CAN'T FACE THIS.
GRANT ME THIS ONE WISH TO BE DECEASED.
SO THEN I CAN BE ETERNALLY AT PEACE.
THROUGH ALL THIS PAIN THAT'S WAY TOO REAL.
WITHOUT A DOUBT I WANNA BE IMMORTALIZED STILL!!!!!