honey nut feelios

i was born with a hole in my heart
cut open by the unknown
and left to fester in my own youth and ignorance
filled with heavy hurtful words
that made me grow bigger
until i had to cut myself open to release them
but once my scars healed
i found a new blade
sharp like the piercing pain in my chest
everytime they turned the lights off
and i realized that my days were numbered
but i had lost count
getting heavier
weight down with doubt and something else
but what