deepundergroundpoetry.com
Odd Jottings: The Green Notebook / Stupid (***Filler***)
***Ongoing piece. See comment below.***
***Last added: April 12***
Dammit Jimnut,
You can’t mix beer with vanilla yoghurt,
And still expect to have a disco-floor body!
===========================================
I find existence in the real world quite difficult.
It takes me weeks to arrange a 1 hour appointment.
I might restock a necessary household food staple,
In about a month or so...
I only half-materialised...
A transporter malfunction or something...
======================
Ode to Curling Girls
Curling Girls are so fricking hot,
Their bleachy hair in tight little tails,
Their soft curves in stretchy zip-tops.
God, I could watch them for hours and hours,
As they yap, holler, laugh and giggle,
And stare so tactically down their lanes.
Even the plumper ones,
(The better ones!)
Are of perfect fertile perfection;
You know they are so stable and ordinary,
Perfect to come home to.
Yeah, I have wasted my life on those moody
Art-fashion city-girls with the dark clumpy bangs...
When all along, I should have headed for the Rink!
Ah, the way their hands release the rock...
And how well they sweep!
Hard! Hard! Hard!
===================
Ah, back in the day when bombs were real,
And Pepsi was made with sugar...
None of this modern-day unmanned drones,
and glucose-fructose shit!
=========================
When they finally came for him,
he declared something about a profound liking to the use of words and language, and a little bit of the numbers and mathematic; but generally, an overall disinterest and lack of concern over contemporary atomic conditions.
It was basically something about his senses not entirely registering the immediate environment, instead being persistently attuned to items Far, Away and UnAccountable; he felt it was a bit of a workplace safety hazard to be out in public.
But he just went through it all, bludgeoning life with the force of a mountaineer’s ice axe on the last remaining glacial shard of ice on Mt Everest during an Ice Free Epoch of the geological Earth, caused, of course, by global warming, copitalism and the oil industry!
COPitalism!!! What a mis-find! And this morning too! What was in my breakfast... I better notify house-keeping immediately...
==============================
Jim Nut, you’re frickin’ drunk!
You can’t even operate a sushi roll!
Jim Nut, you just don’t know when to stop!
They’re gonna’ punish you with equipment malfunction!
They’re gonna’ get you with headaches and strange rashes!
Jim Nut, you’re gettin’ away with too much shit!
This hotel is not gonna’ let you connect to the internet!
You can’t roam around town
Going to strip bars and comedy clubs on the same night!
You can’t send off essays to members of the British Government
At 11 o’clock pm on a Sunday Night in a hotel room
Drunk on stiff Black Russians!
Well... One life lesson though:
There just ain’t no sense in being fiscally stingy at the whore house!
====================
Jim Nut, they’re gonna’ call security on you...
You can’t lie around on a bed
Making up voices in a hotel room alone
Don’t you know?
Hotel rooms are only for sex,
Business travel, sports tournaments
Family vacations and science conventions
Even Rock Stars don’t do hotels anymore...
They’re too broke these days
And can only afford their tour buses...
But you! What the fuck are you doing?!
In a hotel room on time-off from work?
Alone and writing and giggling at the walls!
You’re not even drunk for fuck’s sake!
I’m telling you man,
There’s gonna’ be a loud KNOCK on the door one of these days...
==============================
I think I love my liver!
It lets me get those Immortal Nights.
For $10, or even less!
***Last added: April 12***
Dammit Jimnut,
You can’t mix beer with vanilla yoghurt,
And still expect to have a disco-floor body!
===========================================
I find existence in the real world quite difficult.
It takes me weeks to arrange a 1 hour appointment.
I might restock a necessary household food staple,
In about a month or so...
I only half-materialised...
A transporter malfunction or something...
======================
Ode to Curling Girls
Curling Girls are so fricking hot,
Their bleachy hair in tight little tails,
Their soft curves in stretchy zip-tops.
God, I could watch them for hours and hours,
As they yap, holler, laugh and giggle,
And stare so tactically down their lanes.
Even the plumper ones,
(The better ones!)
Are of perfect fertile perfection;
You know they are so stable and ordinary,
Perfect to come home to.
Yeah, I have wasted my life on those moody
Art-fashion city-girls with the dark clumpy bangs...
When all along, I should have headed for the Rink!
Ah, the way their hands release the rock...
And how well they sweep!
Hard! Hard! Hard!
===================
Ah, back in the day when bombs were real,
And Pepsi was made with sugar...
None of this modern-day unmanned drones,
and glucose-fructose shit!
=========================
When they finally came for him,
he declared something about a profound liking to the use of words and language, and a little bit of the numbers and mathematic; but generally, an overall disinterest and lack of concern over contemporary atomic conditions.
It was basically something about his senses not entirely registering the immediate environment, instead being persistently attuned to items Far, Away and UnAccountable; he felt it was a bit of a workplace safety hazard to be out in public.
But he just went through it all, bludgeoning life with the force of a mountaineer’s ice axe on the last remaining glacial shard of ice on Mt Everest during an Ice Free Epoch of the geological Earth, caused, of course, by global warming, copitalism and the oil industry!
COPitalism!!! What a mis-find! And this morning too! What was in my breakfast... I better notify house-keeping immediately...
==============================
Jim Nut, you’re frickin’ drunk!
You can’t even operate a sushi roll!
Jim Nut, you just don’t know when to stop!
They’re gonna’ punish you with equipment malfunction!
They’re gonna’ get you with headaches and strange rashes!
Jim Nut, you’re gettin’ away with too much shit!
This hotel is not gonna’ let you connect to the internet!
You can’t roam around town
Going to strip bars and comedy clubs on the same night!
You can’t send off essays to members of the British Government
At 11 o’clock pm on a Sunday Night in a hotel room
Drunk on stiff Black Russians!
Well... One life lesson though:
There just ain’t no sense in being fiscally stingy at the whore house!
====================
Jim Nut, they’re gonna’ call security on you...
You can’t lie around on a bed
Making up voices in a hotel room alone
Don’t you know?
Hotel rooms are only for sex,
Business travel, sports tournaments
Family vacations and science conventions
Even Rock Stars don’t do hotels anymore...
They’re too broke these days
And can only afford their tour buses...
But you! What the fuck are you doing?!
In a hotel room on time-off from work?
Alone and writing and giggling at the walls!
You’re not even drunk for fuck’s sake!
I’m telling you man,
There’s gonna’ be a loud KNOCK on the door one of these days...
==============================
I think I love my liver!
It lets me get those Immortal Nights.
For $10, or even less!
Published 5th Apr 2014
| Edited 26th Apr 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Actually the full explanation of this piece can be found in the first comment under the earlier sister piece "Odd Jottings: The Green Notebook / Serious". Sorry to trouble you with such complexity at this hour...
This piece here will mushroom out quite speedily and voraciously. There will be no structure and no limits and no direction. It will surely be placed under the "Extreme Content" section soon enough. The ratio of stupid to serious in my collections certainly favours the former. In fact, much of the separate pieces I posted earlier should probably have been posted to either of these ongoing pieces. And don't worry, when I get into the range of hundreds of poems posted to the site here, I will probably start trimming things off and grouping them over into the various "Odd Jottings" segments.
I really should stop it with all these lengthy explanations, and just condense it all into my Poet Introduction on the forums, or whatever it is they recommend us newcomers doing. I'll get onto such project in the next few weeks. In the meantime if you feel I'm being too much of a windbagged hag with these explanations, and am ruining the sanctity of the poet-reading bliss-sensation, then do step up and say so, and surely I will then go even further off the broom...
Check back often and enjoy the advertisements, I mean show...
Thank you
This piece here will mushroom out quite speedily and voraciously. There will be no structure and no limits and no direction. It will surely be placed under the "Extreme Content" section soon enough. The ratio of stupid to serious in my collections certainly favours the former. In fact, much of the separate pieces I posted earlier should probably have been posted to either of these ongoing pieces. And don't worry, when I get into the range of hundreds of poems posted to the site here, I will probably start trimming things off and grouping them over into the various "Odd Jottings" segments.
I really should stop it with all these lengthy explanations, and just condense it all into my Poet Introduction on the forums, or whatever it is they recommend us newcomers doing. I'll get onto such project in the next few weeks. In the meantime if you feel I'm being too much of a windbagged hag with these explanations, and am ruining the sanctity of the poet-reading bliss-sensation, then do step up and say so, and surely I will then go even further off the broom...
Check back often and enjoy the advertisements, I mean show...
Thank you
