Your Opinion Doesn't Matter

Everyone makes me feel smaller and smaller.
All I ever wanted was to be kind of taller.
Emotionally taller than all the rest.
Instead, I continue to go through tests.

They put me down and spread lies.
They hurt my feelings and make me cry.
Why don't they care what's help deep inside?
Why don't they care that all I do is hide?

I hide from feeling.
I hide from revealing.
I hide from people.
The cuts won't get deeper.

I won't hide forever.
Someday I'll reach a new level.
A level where you're all left behind.
A level when I won't be so kind.

Will you all miss me when I'm finally gone?
Will you all miss the moments when I went blonde?
I'll miss you all, but I won't turn around.
I'll scream your names, but you won't hear a sound.

I sit all alone in this room tonight.
I stay in one spot no matter the fright.
The silence becomes so calming.
Yet, it is also alarming.

Where were the people I need most?
Why do they treat me as if I'm a ghost?
Do they not see me there?
The silence is so unfair.

I talk, but my voice feels out of place.
I ran to the mirror to look at my face.
It was shocking to see that it's still the same.
What happened that one time in the love game?

She felt as if she changed immensely.
She thought she held up the wall defensively.
What happened when he walked away?
Does she remember what she has to say?

It seemed so long ago, but it was only a day.
Did I honestly expect myself to stand strong today?
I couldn't do anything but run home.
Is it a shock that I was once again alone?

People judge a little too much on my writing.
Maybe this will shed a little lighting.
I love the way that I write.
I love it because it's my own insight.

It may not be perfect.
It may not be right.
It may not be sheltered.
But, it's my kind of light.

It's my light at the end of the tunnel.
It's the bigger end of the funnel.
It's my passion and my way out.
I no longer care about who has a doubt.