deepundergroundpoetry.com
FATHER
This is the green of great father’s
Sheep and geese and the pond
Floods with late winters’ rains;
Rains run rivulets of tears
On my mother’s face, a lilac light
That comes as the white moon softly come.
And this is the grave of my father’s
Bones and skull and his words
Shape my thoughts as I scream.
Scream for you, for you to hear
Wind blows like woeful bugle blew
Through trees, his foot prints the muddy path home.
This wake, the avenue of my father’s ash,
Yew, oak, elm that grew his Spring buds.
Birds spring, dawn flock and echo light.
Light feather, a false praise of hubric sun
Turning earth. Turned earth: runner beans,
Beings slow, marrow, kale, stop, watch, fall and pray.
Sheep and geese and the pond
Floods with late winters’ rains;
Rains run rivulets of tears
On my mother’s face, a lilac light
That comes as the white moon softly come.
And this is the grave of my father’s
Bones and skull and his words
Shape my thoughts as I scream.
Scream for you, for you to hear
Wind blows like woeful bugle blew
Through trees, his foot prints the muddy path home.
This wake, the avenue of my father’s ash,
Yew, oak, elm that grew his Spring buds.
Birds spring, dawn flock and echo light.
Light feather, a false praise of hubric sun
Turning earth. Turned earth: runner beans,
Beings slow, marrow, kale, stop, watch, fall and pray.
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comments 34
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Re: FATHER
Anonymous
24th Mar 2014 3:39pm
Wow, this is brilliant! It flows nicely and I really love your vocabulary choices.

1

re: Re: FATHER
24th Mar 2014 3:56pm
Re: FATHER
24th Mar 2014 8:50pm
whale, i feel a maelstrom of emotions beneath the surface of your words and still, it's somewhat serene... certainly food for thought.
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re: Re: FATHER
24th Mar 2014 9:54pm
shadoe, Sunday I walked from my old man's cottage across the green to the churchyard where he is buried near his father, his fathers father and so on. And tho this is emotion recollected in tranquility, he was a good man who died before he should have done - I think about him often
Re: FATHER
24th Mar 2014 8:53pm
re: Re: FATHER
24th Mar 2014 9:55pm
Re: FATHER
25th Mar 2014 00:06am
this for so many reasons reminded
me of Edward Thomas; primarily,
perhaps, due to its natural speech
hiding deep emotion...it's excellent...
me of Edward Thomas; primarily,
perhaps, due to its natural speech
hiding deep emotion...it's excellent...
1

re: Re: FATHER
25th Mar 2014 8:30am
yes the captured changes and the English country setting - he was more Kent and my father Wiltshire - much flattered by this comparison Dartford! I was striving also for that "just so" quality of the Japanese as well that I know you favour - metaphor upon meaning layered on a pastoral scene - so am very pleased with your comment :)
Re: FATHER
25th Mar 2014 2:43am
Mo Chara,
I have truly been transported into the deep emotions of this piece. Throughout the serenity, i cannot help, but sense, the subtle sorrow....the almost painful poignancy--
The turning of The Great Wheel....seasons circling...the predestined patterns...that even with the inevitable end of mortal existence, subsequently, life continues...
Creative, and eloquently expressed.
Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart, with us.
I have truly been transported into the deep emotions of this piece. Throughout the serenity, i cannot help, but sense, the subtle sorrow....the almost painful poignancy--
The turning of The Great Wheel....seasons circling...the predestined patterns...that even with the inevitable end of mortal existence, subsequently, life continues...
Creative, and eloquently expressed.
Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart, with us.
1

re: Re: FATHER
25th Mar 2014 8:35am
The English side of me can sometimes struggle with emotion - so am delighted that some bubbled forth! And yes the inevitability and even understanding of death does not halt pain - thanks Enchantess for your time taken:)
Re: FATHER
25th Mar 2014 2:44am
this is a poetic garden ... A virtual meadow for the mind and soul ... Bravo!
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re: Re: FATHER
25th Mar 2014 8:41am
That's the greatest comment Lobo - reminds me of Goethe and the reason why DU is such a cool community:
"if u can feel that there is some people here and there who get u than that makes the world like a garden for u"
"if u can feel that there is some people here and there who get u than that makes the world like a garden for u"
Re: FATHER
25th Mar 2014 3:49am
The progression from stanza to stanza
created a very intriguing buildup, interesting n in depth
piece dude, very pressed! :)
created a very intriguing buildup, interesting n in depth
piece dude, very pressed! :)
1

re: Re: FATHER
25th Mar 2014 8:45am
Re: FATHER
25th Mar 2014 7:39pm
An absolute blessing to read. Much needed wisdom today, Thank you Whale.... Alicia
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re: Re: FATHER
25th Mar 2014 7:52pm
Re: FATHER
25th Mar 2014 8:34pm
Awesome piece! Touched on many emotions as I read. Very visual and heart felt. :)
1

re: Re: FATHER
25th Mar 2014 8:48pm
Flowergirl I admire your freedom with your emotions - so I take this as a true compliment!
Re: FATHER
26th Mar 2014 6:20am
re: Re: FATHER
26th Mar 2014 7:57am
Re: FATHER
26th Mar 2014 10:49pm
It's so beautiful and touching WHale and the legacy lives on through you to keep the memories alive . Sublime from beginning to the end.
1

Re: FATHER
27th Mar 2014 8:03pm
Gosh, this was Amazzzzing, Whale! That last stanza just made me say, Wow! Enjoyed...Xo
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re: Re: FATHER
27th Mar 2014 8:39pm
Re: FATHER
28th Mar 2014 1:51am
Your ability to close your minds eye and allow your Heart to express it's pure emotion is the gift of a True Poet.
Thank You Sir, for sharing this most rare and precious Gift in your work.
To Finding That Key, for it can Not Be Learned
Thank You Sir, for sharing this most rare and precious Gift in your work.
To Finding That Key, for it can Not Be Learned
1

re: Re: FATHER
28th Mar 2014 7:42am
Thank you RT - this is much appreciated as mine is a constant struggle to strip away the layers and find myself
Re: FATHER
28th Mar 2014 3:38am
your deliverance with serenity running in the background..in each n every word n verse..like smooth rounded edges, creates magic! beautiful write..esp. I loved how'comes"get repeated fitting soothingly in here,
"a lilac light
That comes as the white moon softly comes"
"a lilac light
That comes as the white moon softly comes"
1

re: Re: FATHER
28th Mar 2014 7:44am
Re: FATHER
14th Apr 2014 00:01am
whale, I have much respect for this piece. To write about a loss of a parent is a huge challenge and struggle for some of us, even when one is so passionate about the art of expression, such a loss can leave one lost and numb.
You have honoured your father in this poem with the beauty of imagery, power of emotion and great skill in your art.
You have honoured your father in this poem with the beauty of imagery, power of emotion and great skill in your art.
0

re: Re: FATHER
18th Apr 2014 00:44am
To be true to heart and structure is the test and revelation - thanks for seeing this
Re: FATHER
2nd Jul 2014 8:25pm
Such emotion in your words. I can see the love you still hold for your father. Good write.
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re: Re: FATHER
2nd Jul 2014 8:56pm
re: re: Re: FATHER
3rd Jul 2014 5:11pm