deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Meadow Rose
I sat alone, uninhibitied, and unacknowleged in a meadow.
I knew nothing of the world beyond the meadow, and I
knew that careful planning and calculation would be the undoing
of this peaceful place.
Beneath a weeping willow I slept, I knew, I spoke.
I was the prophet of this unspoken-for land and I
knew not what I had done to get here.
Within a joining of all the rolling hills, in a crevasse of sweetgrass
and thorns, grew a rose, a rose that bled.
A rose for me.
A warning.
I knew nothing of the world beyond the meadow, and I
knew that careful planning and calculation would be the undoing
of this peaceful place.
Beneath a weeping willow I slept, I knew, I spoke.
I was the prophet of this unspoken-for land and I
knew not what I had done to get here.
Within a joining of all the rolling hills, in a crevasse of sweetgrass
and thorns, grew a rose, a rose that bled.
A rose for me.
A warning.
Published 7th Mar 2011
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7th Mar 2011 7:12am
Well this has some beautiful imagery and a flowy, trippy mood. Feels like it has a story behind it...
7th Mar 2011 11:26pm
7th Mar 2011 4:43pm
There's something very carnal and physical about '...that bled,' that's emphasised by the vague and indistinct nature of the words that go before it....it's very mortal, the idea of bleeding, and I think that's what makes the image so threatening in the oblivion you've created beforehand. And I love the great sense of foreboding you end the poem on. Very Garden of Eden.
7th Mar 2011 11:29pm
Thank you, Merda, mortality is definitely apart of it. I also like the hidden agenda of Eden in there as well. I appreciate it. :)
Anonymous
- Edited 9th Mar 2011 2:37am
9th Mar 2011 2:28am
I really like this. I like how succinct and sinister it is and I like how much effort you put into establishing the scene without ever saying too much. There's no excess fat, just a lean slab of meat. The first two commas aren't really needed and the line breaks come at strange places sometimes, but other than that this is very good. Having read Laura's comment about the words "that bled", I see this poem almost as a metaphor for virginity and temptation.
for me, the narrator is the rose.
i felt invited to be it too, or, at least, to look.
serene, reminds me of Johanna Sherman's Sacred Rose Tarot deck.
i felt invited to be it too, or, at least, to look.
serene, reminds me of Johanna Sherman's Sacred Rose Tarot deck.
23rd Mar 2011 5:39am
23rd Mar 2011 5:42am
