Love?

Everything that should matter to me is losing my heart quickly. I have been consistently battling myself even when i feel empty. The faces that I see are silhouettes ; shadowy. I have these thoughts in my head and pain in my heart, it's all too much to bare within me. I often can read body language and those around me are filled with envy. Some type of hate, lust, or even jealousy. Me, oh but me... the leaves off an old oak tree that everyone seems to forget to see. They pluck and pluck until all is lost. My fragile heart torn apart since the very start. My face is ashy from where the tears last fell. I've been praying for hope but It's been years since I've seen outside of hell. I've been reaching out hoping you see my pain, try to help me gain all that still remain. No, you say you try but leave me out in the cold to air dry. Where is the love? Where is it now? You say it's here but dammit how!? I can't do it by myself but I guess I might. Trusting in others is doomed for fright. I'm scared to love and I'm scared to live, can't you tell? All because those i let in my life always say farewell