deepundergroundpoetry.com
Crack in my Bumper
I once bought a new car and in less than a week my baby got smacked, I said Ill be damned, now even though it was a fixable crack under my license plate I was still pissed off, I really wanted to haul off when I found out she couldnt present a license, registration and gave me an expired insurance card from a 2005 BMW on a P.O.S. 98 ford taurus, and to prove how crappy that car was we barely touched and her whole back bumper crumbled into pieces, and I started to think the same thing about my life, how sometimes we fall into pieces only to build ourselves back up, see Im a be truthful, I was once engaged to a beautiful woman who was everything I dreamed, financially stable, book educated, cute as hell, pretty smile, did any and everything for me, and I let my lack of forgiveness for one mistake get the best of me, so I made her suffer until she got tired, and after my anger subsided, I realized I was the tired negro who let a good woman go, I once was a nine year old who could run up and down the street, til my mama got so mad one night she altered my heartbeat forever with a phone in my chest, and for the next fifteen years, I was actually happy to see her heart ripped out of her chest, because she was the reason mines isnt fully functional, but I eventually let it go and began to love, I once was a youngin with my fathers name, bought me sega, nintendo, but the biggest game was me trying to decipher who was I seeing, see even as a seven year old I knew he was cheatin, got older and I sometimes seen him beating on my mother, drunk off moonshine and pissed off at everyone in the house, and I wanted to tell him fuck you with my mouth, and if I was dumb I woulda let my mouth turn into that gun and let those same six shots off I blasted in the sky right in his chest..but I eventually let me anger subside, and I love my father, I was once a 26 year old, who took a lil girls hand and became the realest man she seen in her life, clothes, food, I did all I could for the one I called my baby girl, and a smile was repayment enough, but I guess that wasnt enough, cause I wasnt doing right with her, and now I can never see her again, worse than that me and her mama aint even friends, but I hope she grows up to know those words she spoke at the airport of Im gone miss you daddy stuck with me forever, see life breaks us down into pieces sometimes, and much like an accident, someone will pick them up and stuff them in the trunk to try and make it seem like nothing happened, but damn that, I leave all the evidence at the scene, cause maybe my misfortune can help someone else up theirs, and to think, all this started from a crack in my bumper, see between the two cars, I had less damage, but a crack reminded me of one thing, fix things before they expand, cause a crack can grow bigger and bigger, so I figure Id take this time to say sorry if I hurt you and I accept your for hurting me, and lastly, what I realize most, is that a crack in a car is like my soul....cosmetic...it can be fixed, but only if I allow it
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