deepundergroundpoetry.com
Unacceptable apologies
I tried to forget the trauma--
daunting memories
abusive childhood
tears cried whilst all were sleeping
and forced bruised smiles.
My memory simply couldn't erase
the pain that dwelled inside.
I tried to see him as a rose without the imperfections.
A sweet flower growing amongst
bitterness,
Falsely imagined through unwilling
forgiveness,
Whilst undeneath I had always just seen the
thorns.
A fist in face for simply answering his questions
Emotions held back because they simply weren't accepted
How can I ever be good enough for a bitter man ?
My face red raw from washing my so called disgrace
Bath plump with a useless body who was a waste of time
Goodnight Razor kisses
and 'I'm sorry I'm not perfect'
Lullabys.
daunting memories
abusive childhood
tears cried whilst all were sleeping
and forced bruised smiles.
My memory simply couldn't erase
the pain that dwelled inside.
I tried to see him as a rose without the imperfections.
A sweet flower growing amongst
bitterness,
Falsely imagined through unwilling
forgiveness,
Whilst undeneath I had always just seen the
thorns.
A fist in face for simply answering his questions
Emotions held back because they simply weren't accepted
How can I ever be good enough for a bitter man ?
My face red raw from washing my so called disgrace
Bath plump with a useless body who was a waste of time
Goodnight Razor kisses
and 'I'm sorry I'm not perfect'
Lullabys.
Published 23rd Feb 2011
| Edited 24th Feb 2011
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23rd Feb 2011 9:38am
"with a useless body" - wow! amazing description; it stands out in this poem, and in general actually. i think the rose metaphor is a bit cliche, but that's just my own preferences talking. great expression, i can empathise...
23rd Feb 2011 11:34am
Your use of detachment reinforces my impression that your poetry continues to mature very quickly, Inks.
This is brave work - and if you sat on it longer and honed down the phrasing, I'm certain it would be even better.
There's always a danger with a personal & painful write like this that once the words are down we give a big sigh and imagine it's done. Truth is, the crafting part never finishes.
Perhaps that's one difference between developing poets and people who write out self therapy without understanding the essential economy of language which helps distinguish poetry from prose.
Keep up this standard.
I've crossed my fingers you're a long way from the quake.
Best ~ Abra
This is brave work - and if you sat on it longer and honed down the phrasing, I'm certain it would be even better.
There's always a danger with a personal & painful write like this that once the words are down we give a big sigh and imagine it's done. Truth is, the crafting part never finishes.
Perhaps that's one difference between developing poets and people who write out self therapy without understanding the essential economy of language which helps distinguish poetry from prose.
Keep up this standard.
I've crossed my fingers you're a long way from the quake.
Best ~ Abra
24th Feb 2011 2:28am
24th Feb 2011 3:49am
I love this poem. It's really good and covers a deep and universal topic. Structure is good. Imagery is fabtastic and the power of your poetic voice strikes out loud to the reader. Exceelent work. :)
Anonymous
24th Feb 2011 4:17am
I share the same favourite line as Jestalessa. This is a haunting and sad and dark and bitter and insightful poem, bubbling with the cold, cruel anger of Sylvia Plath.
24th Feb 2011 5:33am
i like the lines bruised smiles and razor kisses... i think i know what that's about... heavily emotional and heart breaking.
Anonymous
1st Mar 2011 9:53pm
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