deepundergroundpoetry.com
__back to our days__
I watch her, lazily, often mornings
once school lunches are made, sent,
dishes and my 'business' done,
she'll sit
tapping, scrolling, scanning cyberspace,
waiting...
She waits for him, I know, a friend-
about ten hours of time gap
checks the clock
taking into account he's busy living:
flying...
Stories sung and boisterous banter
flit across her face, relieved
grinning, gawking, seething squints-
she closes eyes
losing the now in been-and-done,
and far-away and likely-not;
dreaming...
Motion once the clock tells
he's composing, or sleeping in deepest blue
on moonlit truth.
Back to our days
but with future emerging from looming grays
some way, still
smiling.
once school lunches are made, sent,
dishes and my 'business' done,
she'll sit
tapping, scrolling, scanning cyberspace,
waiting...
She waits for him, I know, a friend-
about ten hours of time gap
checks the clock
taking into account he's busy living:
flying...
Stories sung and boisterous banter
flit across her face, relieved
grinning, gawking, seething squints-
she closes eyes
losing the now in been-and-done,
and far-away and likely-not;
dreaming...
Motion once the clock tells
he's composing, or sleeping in deepest blue
on moonlit truth.
Back to our days
but with future emerging from looming grays
some way, still
smiling.
Published 23rd Feb 2011
| Edited 29th Feb 2012
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23rd Feb 2011 00:32am
23rd Feb 2011 00:45am
one for my reading list.
such precise depiction... and a bunch of other good stuff :)
one thing: give it a title besides "untitled"; just hate
poems that are titled "untitled". leaving title blank would be fine.
or, just take a word/line from the poem;
maybe "Back to our days" ??
such precise depiction... and a bunch of other good stuff :)
one thing: give it a title besides "untitled"; just hate
poems that are titled "untitled". leaving title blank would be fine.
or, just take a word/line from the poem;
maybe "Back to our days" ??
23rd Feb 2011 7:55am
Thanks, Ray. I didn't like leaving it entitled "Untitled" either. I'll think of something else for it later.
24th Feb 2011 7:16pm
yes. i used to never title my poems; just have the poem sit there by itself
beautiful and all :)
but... when i did this someone (or some computer program created by someone) always demanded
a damn title. ("..." works most of the time).
but yes, "untitled" IS a title and i just hate it.
another thing i did was use the first line, but then
it was repeated;
but! finally figured out to use first line and not repeat it. anyway, that's what
i settled on.
of course now, i've changed my mind and happen to love titles (most of the time).
but whatever... :)
beautiful and all :)
but... when i did this someone (or some computer program created by someone) always demanded
a damn title. ("..." works most of the time).
but yes, "untitled" IS a title and i just hate it.
another thing i did was use the first line, but then
it was repeated;
but! finally figured out to use first line and not repeat it. anyway, that's what
i settled on.
of course now, i've changed my mind and happen to love titles (most of the time).
but whatever... :)
Anonymous
23rd Feb 2011 9:22am
I'm not absolutely sure I can figure this one out fully, but - to me - there is a beauty in it, perhaps because of that.
I've read it 3 times now, and it's a 'grower', for sure.
S
I've read it 3 times now, and it's a 'grower', for sure.
S
