deepundergroundpoetry.com
Tears
He elected one of her many inflorescences. It peeped out of her womb like a phallus.
With bare hands he gathered her young flowers. He was gentle but firm.
With split rattan he tied her into a bundle. Tight and straight and neat.
Soon her soft springy flowers stiffened. She swelled of his constrict.
With a keen knife special for the purpose he cut her. A slice clean at the tip of her bundle.
She wept and he caught her tears. With a cup that concealed her wounds.
He will return at dusk and again at dawn. Each time he risks his life for her tears.
Tears neither of heaven nor of earth. But of the libations between.
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After several days, I finally managed to write a new poem. I think it was kexby's poetry that 'push' me to 'level up' on my writing! This poem is just the first step ...
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I have been wanting to write about coconut palm wine (tuba) for many months now, here it is finally ... :) The last line is based on the 'riddle' that our 85-year old neighbour speaks every time he drinks 'tuba.'
With bare hands he gathered her young flowers. He was gentle but firm.
With split rattan he tied her into a bundle. Tight and straight and neat.
Soon her soft springy flowers stiffened. She swelled of his constrict.
With a keen knife special for the purpose he cut her. A slice clean at the tip of her bundle.
She wept and he caught her tears. With a cup that concealed her wounds.
He will return at dusk and again at dawn. Each time he risks his life for her tears.
Tears neither of heaven nor of earth. But of the libations between.
----
After several days, I finally managed to write a new poem. I think it was kexby's poetry that 'push' me to 'level up' on my writing! This poem is just the first step ...
---
I have been wanting to write about coconut palm wine (tuba) for many months now, here it is finally ... :) The last line is based on the 'riddle' that our 85-year old neighbour speaks every time he drinks 'tuba.'
Published 7th Feb 2014
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7th Feb 2014 12:12pm
7th Feb 2014 3:18pm
7th Feb 2014 12:58pm
The wine lovingly made, a perfect allegory.I can imagine the taste on my tongue. Thankyou.have added to my list.
7th Feb 2014 3:26pm
Thank you, kexby. :) I hadn't really thought of the allegory (which I thought myself to be quite bad at), but yes, it is!
8th Feb 2014 2:25am
I enjoyed interpreting this in the seductive light of bondage. skilled surgery administered as a dubious love. tears like wine. craftwork beyond praise...
8th Feb 2014 7:51am
Oh thank you, John. I'm glad the poem still stands on its literal meaning, although I am quite 'weak' on the aesthetics of bondage. :)
Sometimes I wonder how much the poet's explanation of her intent in the poem is important to the reading...
Sometimes I wonder how much the poet's explanation of her intent in the poem is important to the reading...
8th Feb 2014 1:57pm
After all, Absinthe, you are the master of metaphor. This poem is a fair for senses, it is full of hidden meanings, suggestions. It is very poetic the connection between wine and sex...
9th Feb 2014 6:34am
Thank you Celino. Strange, I am not very conscious of the metaphor or the allegory. When I wrote this, I felt that I was simply describing the act of tapping coconut wine, at least in a poetic language.
A bit more literally, I could say: The tapper has to climb the tree, a dangerous task, and up there he ties the flowers into a bundle, and with a sharp knife resembling a sickle, he slices the tip of the bundle.
He attaches a container or cup to the tip of the bundle to catch the sap. He needs to go up that tree and slice through, keeping the wound fresh, twice a day - in the early morning and in the late afternoon.
I miss reading your poems here on DUP, Celino!
A bit more literally, I could say: The tapper has to climb the tree, a dangerous task, and up there he ties the flowers into a bundle, and with a sharp knife resembling a sickle, he slices the tip of the bundle.
He attaches a container or cup to the tip of the bundle to catch the sap. He needs to go up that tree and slice through, keeping the wound fresh, twice a day - in the early morning and in the late afternoon.
I miss reading your poems here on DUP, Celino!
9th Feb 2014 10:32am
Probably is my subconscious and my vicious mind working! However, I read and read the poem and that sensual environment remains...
What is important is that it is very well written.
The 6th and 8th line are brillant.
What is important is that it is very well written.
The 6th and 8th line are brillant.
9th Feb 2014 10:37am
For the reader intent in finding meaning, this is a probing poem---you make many references that can have more then one meaning. I am thinking now about a couple of songwriters who loved to do that. I think you are in good company.
9th Feb 2014 1:44pm
Oh hi Jazz! :) Thank you! I am happy with this poem, though sometimes hesitant with the multi-meanings, I appreciate it more. Thank you. :)
9th Feb 2014 9:02pm
Well they say there is English and then there is what American's did to it! :)
Anonymous
11th Feb 2014 3:47am
Quite eloquent, you have such a way of unfolding the story which leaves the reader captivated.
11th Feb 2014 9:33am
Thank you, Vee. :) I think I like telling stories in poetry, although I didn't enjoy it much when I was younger.
