why do i keep doing this?

Why do I keep doing this?
Why is it always you that I miss?
Was it because you were my first real kiss?
When i talk to you, I forget about everything else
You were the one who I would always love more than myself
But what if I put my heart out there for you to grab?
And you chuck it to the ground
Will I ever get over the pieces shattered around?
Will they ever be found?
What if I give my love to you but you use it against me?
Well I guess that’s a risk I don’t think im willing to take
I don’t want to be with a guy whose feelings are fake
What if I could give you the world?
But you throw it all away
How am I supposed to deal with that? Day by day?
I don’t know what I should do
My heart wants to stay closed off
I know its your loss
But you don’t realize how soft I am
That I would give everything I possibly can
My feelings, my heart are at stake
I don’t want to make a mistake
But I cant help the feeling that you awake.