It is possible

Maybe im crazy
maybe i have a different way of viewing the world
maybe im not interesting
or the prettiest girl you know
maybe i want to be happy
maybe i love being alive
but maybe im depressed
and all my fantasies involve something having to die.
Maybe i want help
and all you view in my future is a mental institution
a place where they put me into a jacket so i can barely move
lock me in a pure white room
that makes me think about nothing but gloom and doom.

Maybe i dont want to be treated like an experiment,
i just want to feel safe
maybe i want to far away from this trapped mental state
maybe im so morbid so i look at the sky
maybe i don't want to die
i just dont want to be alive
so maybe i lie so i can see people smile
because i know i will fly off the cliff.....
if i drive that extra mile.

You tell me this
but my body tells me that
and everyone treats me like a twig that they feel so tempted to snap
or a disgusting image that they cant bear to look at,
cant be bothered to react.

Im tired of looking for a hero,
so i will try to save myself
i might win
i might fail
but that is a chance i am willing to take.

And once in our lives
we have thoughts of murder and suicide
but only a quarter of us have the guts to try it out.

in this current time,
those are thoughts that haunt my mind
but i am not worthy enough to take someone's life
and i will not be a coward and take my own life

maybe i am all that we said and worse
maybe i am hopeless and my future is a dreaded curse
but maybe, just maybe
i can figure it out all on my own