My Killer

Killer, he calls himself
it's what he is, who he is,
who I've lost, and who I want

Too many bullets, too many fires
consuming flesh that he turned cold
it haunts him and transforms him
transforming my universe in turn

Young bullets, young victims,
if they have a gun, you shoot them
he takes orders, and practices
not feeling, not caring

At least until he gets home
and a bottle sits before him
and it takes everything in him to not
turn the gun on himself

He told me these things
and I felt my heart shatter
for the man I have grown to love
and for the pain he has caused

But I am a killer too,
I always have been, deeply
within a fortress of my own mind
and like calls to like,
though his suffering brings me great sorrow

It's not the dark that scares me
I've lived there my whole life
He tells me things that I find hard to face
but in the end it's all the same

I have chosen him...
and everything that comes along with it
the scars I already knew
and the scars that were just revealed

Nobody said our road would be easy
I have known that from the beginning
I was prepared a long time ago
to accept the things he's done and doing

Even if he can't accept them himself