?question?

Its been at keast 6 months lonely and depressed, now that its almost tine to confuse my heart to him... im frozen slightly gasping for air reminding myself to breath in and out... why cant i find the words to explain how i want u to forgive me for what i dint know how to say what is needed to be for gaven of... i have the next 3 days to get the heart breaking soultion to explain my reasoning of the actions i took and have no one but myself to blame, i wonder if i tell the truth and see the out come and most likely get my heart broken like never befor. Or just wait for them to open there mouth and tell him all the truth that should b released, im scared, dying, hurt, depressed, sad and in dying need of him to forgive me the best way possible. I need want im in LOVE with him.