Never thought it would come to this

You know never did I think I would find myself so good at lying
never did I believe I could hold up this facade
so much pain
never really knowing how to proceed
I find myself faking more then reality
to me life has ended
I wonder how many people can see
The world may still be turning
and we may still be breathing
yet I find myself living apart from it all
feelings not real
or at least the smile on my face isn't
it's funny you know
to feel so broken
it's not like I have an actual reason
there are people way worse of then me
sometimes I feel like I have to many friends
for people that never see
and my family love me
or at least the me that they can see
im hiding
I don't know why
I mean there isn't anything to hide from
and there sure isn't anything to hide behind
I never know what to say when someone compliments me you know
I never feel worthy of the praise
to be honest I figure I'm better off dead
the emptiness inside is killing me anyways
then I remember the people that believe in me
it's not like they really know me
hell I don't even really know myself
still they put up with my quarks
the silly things that don't really make since
the way I can go from laughing my ass off to a silent nothingness
I tell myself all the time that I don't care what people think
that if they don't like it then they can shove it
still I cant help but think what do they see when they look at me
heh shit just got real
and now im sounding conceded
thanks for listening to my rant........ yup.....until next time I guess