deepundergroundpoetry.com
Simply Drab
Don't catch me if I fall,
let me feel the pain
I want it
need it
desperately,
numb
numb
numb
numb
numb
no longer angry
I let it all go
sadness faded with the tears
and I am numb,
frozen kind of
cold or hot
I cannot tell
it's all the same
blending and bleeding into nothing
I find the repetitiveness revolting
holding my breath
trying to feel the blue,
I exhale words like "fuck it"
and continue on with my day
because fuck it, just fuck it
bland, simply drab
everything,
all the time,
through the smoke,
through the haze.
*Nicole wanted to feel something
yet she never knows what the hell it is
nor could she ever verbalize it if she did
fuck it is all she could say,
blaming everything else and calling everything grey*
let me feel the pain
I want it
need it
desperately,
numb
numb
numb
numb
numb
no longer angry
I let it all go
sadness faded with the tears
and I am numb,
frozen kind of
cold or hot
I cannot tell
it's all the same
blending and bleeding into nothing
I find the repetitiveness revolting
holding my breath
trying to feel the blue,
I exhale words like "fuck it"
and continue on with my day
because fuck it, just fuck it
bland, simply drab
everything,
all the time,
through the smoke,
through the haze.
*Nicole wanted to feel something
yet she never knows what the hell it is
nor could she ever verbalize it if she did
fuck it is all she could say,
blaming everything else and calling everything grey*
Published 9th Dec 2013
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likes 10
reading list entries 0
comments 7
reads 878
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
9th Dec 2013 5:01pm
it
be
that way lottsa times, but tis okay---it's never what wee think
but write it anyways
good job, kid..........dada loves ye
be
that way lottsa times, but tis okay---it's never what wee think
but write it anyways
good job, kid..........dada loves ye
I think your poem is simply stella.
Your flow is effortless and your beautiful art shines though the blue.
[IMO] I understand the use of numb repeatedly, but I didn't realise the significance until I got to the end of stanza 4. Perhaps consider bringing that line immediately after the repetition. Just a suggestion.
numb [x5]
I find the repetitiveness revolting
no longer angry
I let it all go
sadness faded with the tears
and I am numb,
frozen kind of
cold or hot
I cannot tell
it's all the same
blending and bleeding into nothing
Regardless, I really like your cool numbness of the simply drab poem.
Your flow is effortless and your beautiful art shines though the blue.
[IMO] I understand the use of numb repeatedly, but I didn't realise the significance until I got to the end of stanza 4. Perhaps consider bringing that line immediately after the repetition. Just a suggestion.
numb [x5]
I find the repetitiveness revolting
no longer angry
I let it all go
sadness faded with the tears
and I am numb,
frozen kind of
cold or hot
I cannot tell
it's all the same
blending and bleeding into nothing
Regardless, I really like your cool numbness of the simply drab poem.
9th Dec 2013 8:46pm
Nikkie....
This Is classic... YOU
In every line ... in every statement
Love the truth of it all
as always!
XOXO
Fire
This Is classic... YOU
In every line ... in every statement
Love the truth of it all
as always!
XOXO
Fire
10th Dec 2013 00:29am
It's a poem of deep despair. Well told yes but depressing to read.
Merry Christmas! :-)
Merry Christmas! :-)
Anonymous
10th Dec 2013 5:59am
Letting go is often one of the hardest things to do, shaking off the heavy load and uniting with the parts of oneself that are still unchanged...
A good piece that shines, Nikki!
A good piece that shines, Nikki!
10th Dec 2013 11:23am
Excellent flow, with a relatable message. I know the feeling. Excellent write.
Astonished
Astonished
10th Dec 2013 7:46pm
You're just awesome for this...the "numb" five times spoke clear as day to me...dare i say I've felt exactly this before? Amazing piece...
