deepundergroundpoetry.com
Whisper
Hiding from you
in plain sight
not uttering a word
and saying too much
I dare not speak
lest I crumble
and fall apart
Still I whisper
in your ear
can you hear me?
Fading into the distance
lonely without your friendship
I wonder when did I start
trembling in your presence
I long to reach out to you
but I hold myself tight
afraid of what you might say
You've beguiled my mind
with your poetic roughness
entering me with your verse
No I dare not speak
lest I crumble
and fall into
passionate eyes
that have seduced my soul
My heart beating hard
as I write these lines
shaking like a little girl
will you hear me
as I spill myself upon the page?
Or will you forever close
the door on the
lust I feel for you?
in plain sight
not uttering a word
and saying too much
I dare not speak
lest I crumble
and fall apart
Still I whisper
in your ear
can you hear me?
Fading into the distance
lonely without your friendship
I wonder when did I start
trembling in your presence
I long to reach out to you
but I hold myself tight
afraid of what you might say
You've beguiled my mind
with your poetic roughness
entering me with your verse
No I dare not speak
lest I crumble
and fall into
passionate eyes
that have seduced my soul
My heart beating hard
as I write these lines
shaking like a little girl
will you hear me
as I spill myself upon the page?
Or will you forever close
the door on the
lust I feel for you?
Published 4th Dec 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 29
reading list entries 3
comments 60
reads 1566
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
4th Dec 2013 6:10pm
Crim,
Loved the heavy hearted back and forth chaos of lust tinted reasoning. Enjoyed the "little girl" comparison. ; ) Enjoyed!!!
tornado
Loved the heavy hearted back and forth chaos of lust tinted reasoning. Enjoyed the "little girl" comparison. ; ) Enjoyed!!!
tornado
4th Dec 2013 6:20pm
Anonymous
4th Dec 2013 7:07pm
<< post removed >>
4th Dec 2013 7:20pm
Anonymous
4th Dec 2013 7:13pm
<< post removed >>
4th Dec 2013 7:20pm
4th Dec 2013 7:13pm
4th Dec 2013 7:21pm
4th Dec 2013 7:30pm
ahh .. nicely crafted crim...I totally relate to this kinda emotion...
enjoyed ur write dear.. thank u for sharing..
keep Rollin
cyanide....
enjoyed ur write dear.. thank u for sharing..
keep Rollin
cyanide....
4th Dec 2013 7:39pm
4th Dec 2013 7:54pm
....so difficult to expose our hearts intentionally, fearing answers to questions we've yet to ask. A relatable 'whisper' Crim, and written with such vulnerability. Lovely longing....Xo
4th Dec 2013 8:52pm
thank you lovely Rain yes this write is the vulnerable side of me.. much love Crim :)
4th Dec 2013 7:58pm
This is an awesome write crim. I love every bit of it, and there's a good choice of words, wonderful piece.
4th Dec 2013 8:53pm
4th Dec 2013 8:00pm
4th Dec 2013 8:54pm
4th Dec 2013 8:04pm
4th Dec 2013 8:54pm
4th Dec 2013 8:19pm
4th Dec 2013 9:01pm
4th Dec 2013 8:22pm
4th Dec 2013 9:01pm
4th Dec 2013 8:26pm
4th Dec 2013 9:04pm
Crim, I've been meaning to follow your work for a while now, catching glimpses of your poems in comps, hearing murmurs of your brutal style.
This piece is not what I expected. It's a brutally honest out pour of feelings, very well written with a hint of seduction.
I like it a lot and look forward to being brutalised by more of your poetry.
This piece is not what I expected. It's a brutally honest out pour of feelings, very well written with a hint of seduction.
I like it a lot and look forward to being brutalised by more of your poetry.
4th Dec 2013 9:32pm
thank you for checking out my writes Mr. Case i'm in awe of yours.. yes this is a different side of me sigh.. peace Crim :)
Anonymous
4th Dec 2013 9:08pm
The vulnerability is so present...hard to bare your heart when you don't know if it will be accepted...
4th Dec 2013 9:33pm
yes this is as brave as I get with this poet.. thank you Petit for understanding :) much love Brenda
Anonymous
4th Dec 2013 9:45pm
<< post removed >>
4th Dec 2013 9:52pm
thank you kindly Gabriel you give the best comments making me smile wide :) peace Crim
4th Dec 2013 10:11pm
Tender Write indeed Dear Crim...You walk both sides of light and dark with ease, always in touch... that's one mean feat-truly excellence in Ink!!!
4th Dec 2013 11:12pm
4th Dec 2013 10:18pm
4th Dec 2013 11:12pm
4th Dec 2013 11:35pm
5th Dec 2013 00:09am
5th Dec 2013 00:25am
Well, well
A little bit of challenging.
Spiritual growth here.
It's easy to repeat the same, you've broken out here.
Well done.
A little bit of challenging.
Spiritual growth here.
It's easy to repeat the same, you've broken out here.
Well done.
5th Dec 2013 1:24am
5th Dec 2013 00:50am
I really love your writing, it evokes such strong feelings. at times it is hard to read because I can't help but feel your pain but every time it is more than worth it and leaves a lasting impression. thank you for sharing such a part of you.
5th Dec 2013 1:25am
Anonymous
5th Dec 2013 2:22am
What a beautiful love letter with so much vulnerability, Brenda your pen spills raw honesty everytime, well done girl!
5th Dec 2013 9:59am
thank you Vee but I swear I hate my vulnerable side.. thank you for such a lovely comment :) much love Brenda
Anonymous
5th Dec 2013 3:49am
<< post removed >>
5th Dec 2013 10:00am
Anonymous
5th Dec 2013 7:52pm
awwww Bren I love your vulnerable side..and your dark side, your right side and your...wrong? side, your inside and your outside, your top side (that mind) and your bottom side..hehe your soul..err soles..you're a brilliant writer. Hard, soft and somewhere in between spills from you like opening spigots. Embrace that vulnerability babygirl, it works for you..much <3
~Tom
~Tom
6th Dec 2013 1:26am
thank you Tom you're making me laugh as I write this with your comment so beautiful it is and humorous too thank you :) much love Brenda
6th Dec 2013 10:56am
6th Dec 2013 10:17pm
6th Dec 2013 2:19pm
I remember that feeling Crim, you express it beautifully here, I feel the tug. I'm all healed now, I hope you get there. Wonderful write. :)x
6th Dec 2013 10:18pm
thank you Magdalena but the truth is I've been behaving foolishly.. much love Crim :)
6th Dec 2013 4:57pm
6th Dec 2013 10:19pm
10th Dec 2013 3:57pm
I thought this was touching and well said.
I like this a lot.
Thanks for a really nice read.
"Hiding from you in plain sight." <---- Deep!
Zazz
I like this a lot.
Thanks for a really nice read.
"Hiding from you in plain sight." <---- Deep!
Zazz
10th Dec 2013 11:52pm
13th Jan 2014 1:11pm
25th Feb 2014 2:02am
24th Aug 2015 3:59pm
24th Aug 2015 5:03pm
28th Aug 2015 6:36pm
It's always paralyzing when someone has this kind of power over you ... Yet we give it willingly ... Beautiful ink!
28th Aug 2015 8:47pm
it feels so right yet so wrong at the same time and yes I gave it willingly :)
thank you LSP with respect Crimsin
thank you LSP with respect Crimsin
