I need drugs

How do I cut these strings that control me
These strings hold me up and protect me
My reality I do not want to face
Running from my own mortality

So hard to face this sunny day
Need my fix to smile and be on my way
Don't like to think about the end game
Flying high keeps me safe from me today

If you see me dancing and smiling
It is only a painted paradise I have taken
Mothers little helpers my choice today
Other times I would be smoking or baking

What you say is an deadly addiction
Is my savior in every way
My mind is dangerous and hurts me
My addiction is to get away from myself every day