Emotional Mechanism

just days ago I was blinded by the guise of denial
emotional mechanism set in place for protection
"this isnt happening" I repeated
but it was happening

as my eyes went hollow within my reflection
I refused to recognise the reality of the moment
I saw tears of anguish stream down my face
but it still wasn't happening

I tried to distance myself from it all
distractions and denial make for complacency
my conscious mind shifted
to subconscious through

just days ago I was blinded by a flash of reality
no safe place for myself to hide anymore
"I can’t believe this happening" I repeated
but it had happened

my heart went hollow behind an empty rhythm
the pain forced me to recognize the reality I faced
once again tears of anguish streamed down my cheeks
“this is really fucking happening”

the distant gap I had carefully set into place closed
as my distraction shattered
and my denial and complacency
fell to ash all around me