You can’t light a fire without a spark

 
 
“I don’t do relationships “, I said  
and almost choked on my words  
because I wanted to do her in every way  
including relationship  
 
It’s not every day I fall in love  
with the love in someone else  
and she was more beautiful  
when she was loved
 
Now she is old and bitter
despite her youth  
occasionally lighting up  
in moments of rare humour  
that make me remember the days  
when she was beautiful  
 
And despite my uncertain attractions  
I know I’ll never be the one to light her up  
with that elusive spark  
that we just don’t have  
 
I would kill to be the one to make her smile  
to reignite the light that’s grown dim from grief
but I’m far too well acquainted with melancholy  
to be anything more than a fair weather friend  
leaving my problems at the door  
with a smile on my lips  
fake in the face of danger  
 
Because love cannot grow from mutual sadness  
it cannot reach for the sky when the heart wants to drown  
in things that are dark and beautiful  
but ultimately unfulfilling  
and I’m not sadistic enough to want to drown  
the small spark of light that still shines through  
when she lifts her head  
and laughs  
 
© Indie Adams 2013