Erased

Much of my mind
I have erased in my youth
Playing Russian roulette
With a chemical gun

I would lose myself in the fumes
Content for hours
Until it was empty
I would be left feeling empty, too

I didn't give a shit
If I lived or died
Only lusting for my escape
In the toxic embrace

I had an outer-body experience
More than a few times
As my soul left my body
My mind, completely froze

Once, I had a vision
As I left my earthly vessel
I saw everyone I love
Gathered around my cold, blue corpse

Since then, I quit the duster
The butane
and the glue
But lost parts of my life I feel I can never regain