deepundergroundpoetry.com
Rats
We left your husband
cursing the gods of blackjack
glaring at his whisky bottle
through a blue tobacco haze
rotten luck always dogging his words
In the park lay fresh Spring air
the early scent of hyacinth
music from our voices
drowning everything
the woeful pushchair
with its squeaky wheel
the baby with your eyes
all that mother paraphernalia
touting the gambler's cheap insurance
paraded ineffectually
wearing yesterday's tired badge
I remember your glances
barbs I would come to learn well
a tiny hint of implore
nervous understandings
from a young foal
compliantly reined in
ready to abandon reason
unbuttoning a rush of blood
We parked the pushchair
in shade and seclusion
by the Ladies toilet block
for a moment I counted neat red brick
heard the sound of water running
checked the baby was full of milk,
asleep
and then I followed you in
Swallowing the squalor
of dank green walls
disinfected with the buzz of an eager fly
we pressed against the cubicle
I wedged my tongue in your mouth
cupped hands around the tight ache of your arse
and yanked your leggings down
You knew to come bra-less
flimsy orange knickers
peeping from your ankles
soaking wet already
foreplay not required
dainty swans gilding your neck
while you threw back your head
and moaned
I pulled free just in time
watched the white spurts
pepper your stomach
laughing with sticky hands
rubbing off goo
as we scrambled back to daylight
before the baby woke and cried
Now,
after a Ph.D in hindsight
with honours in 'I told you so'
we gawp through time
out of one more photo
my head never had heart to burn
two rats
fucking in a sewer.
cursing the gods of blackjack
glaring at his whisky bottle
through a blue tobacco haze
rotten luck always dogging his words
In the park lay fresh Spring air
the early scent of hyacinth
music from our voices
drowning everything
the woeful pushchair
with its squeaky wheel
the baby with your eyes
all that mother paraphernalia
touting the gambler's cheap insurance
paraded ineffectually
wearing yesterday's tired badge
I remember your glances
barbs I would come to learn well
a tiny hint of implore
nervous understandings
from a young foal
compliantly reined in
ready to abandon reason
unbuttoning a rush of blood
We parked the pushchair
in shade and seclusion
by the Ladies toilet block
for a moment I counted neat red brick
heard the sound of water running
checked the baby was full of milk,
asleep
and then I followed you in
Swallowing the squalor
of dank green walls
disinfected with the buzz of an eager fly
we pressed against the cubicle
I wedged my tongue in your mouth
cupped hands around the tight ache of your arse
and yanked your leggings down
You knew to come bra-less
flimsy orange knickers
peeping from your ankles
soaking wet already
foreplay not required
dainty swans gilding your neck
while you threw back your head
and moaned
I pulled free just in time
watched the white spurts
pepper your stomach
laughing with sticky hands
rubbing off goo
as we scrambled back to daylight
before the baby woke and cried
Now,
after a Ph.D in hindsight
with honours in 'I told you so'
we gawp through time
out of one more photo
my head never had heart to burn
two rats
fucking in a sewer.
Published 27th Jan 2011
| Edited 15th Jul 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 1
comments 8
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The author encourages honest critique.
27th Jan 2011 9:40am
Morning Jes - I'm still playing with it - do you think it should be extreme content?
i don't think it's terribly extreme, but i would agree it's not suitable for children to read...even though it's likely what their mummies and daddies do when they're sleeping. :D
I was thinking more about leaving the baby unattended - there's always more in that situation. It's fresh, so I'll let it relax as it is on the page for a day.
Anonymous
28th Jan 2011 10:27pm
but...though I know you're not keen on much punctuation in a poem, but feel some of the magnificent images you construct in this brilliantly imagined story could be seperated by the odd dash or comma.
I've just left a very similar comment for someone else, so I'll acknowledge at this point that I'm probably suffering from slash dot dash dot slash dot hash disorder tonight.
It'll pass, I'm sure.
Anyway back to the point (excuse the pun), I REALLY like this...you're at your inventive best in it.
well done ;;;; ---- )))).
S
I've just left a very similar comment for someone else, so I'll acknowledge at this point that I'm probably suffering from slash dot dash dot slash dot hash disorder tonight.
It'll pass, I'm sure.
Anyway back to the point (excuse the pun), I REALLY like this...you're at your inventive best in it.
well done ;;;; ---- )))).
S
29th Jan 2011 2:49pm
Still working on how to lose the couple of commas I've got stuck with in this. I know the flow's been impeded by the edits I gave it, so your comment's spot on.
Maybe I'll try reading my work aloud in wildly different voice styles before I post, to highlight the way the lines actually breathe. Thanks.
~ A
28th Jan 2011 10:31pm
This is more than just a sneak around "rendevous", It's real to me..like abracadabra said, this is what really goes on when the baby is asleep, but what caught my attention the most is your last line..."two rats fucking in a sewer"..powerful. I think you did a great job.
29th Jan 2011 2:55pm
Making words seem real for the reader is always a bonus when you have something important to say.
Appreciate you stopping by.
Best ~ Abra
